Dealing with life

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    No Redline they share it with others... okay let's put it this way... out 3 woman who are the same age in the family... let's call them a , b and c. Me being c. The daughter of that person being a... that leaves woman b who should be on the same ground as me, a lot closer. And that's just people I can compare myself with. I guess we're just not as close as I thought.
    I don't even care about the details. I just wanted to be there for them but I guess they don't need it.

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  • Redline
    replied
    Originally posted by Amirsh View Post
    And that's another thing, they clearly don't want me in the closer circle and that in itself bothers me.
    Could it be a way to protect you?

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    And that someone was arrested... and released after a few hours. No bail even, just some restricting conditions. Still... I'm not close enough to know the details but close enough to think about it. And that's another thing, they clearly don't want me in the closer circle and that in itself bothers me. But I do have other problems.

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  • Basura Nephilim
    replied
    Life will give you (unfair) beatings, relentlessly in my opinion.
    I don't think you should feel bad for what you do while you're on the receiving end of it.

    I think how you come out of it, once all is said and done, that makes you the person you are.



    I guess what I want to say is; Be flexible and nice to yourself when things are tough. Be aware of what you are allowing yourself to do / be.
    Be strong about things when it's over, and switch off the leniency when you know you no longer need it. We like to stay in positions of comfort, even in good times, but it's not always what we need then.

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    Yes and no Nihopaloa . Some people have really sheltered lives or have not been in a situation that was a moral blur or just enjoy watching people suffer as they, do the "right" thing. I guess it depends on someone's personality traits also. I don't know.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I think that's a pretty normal development when becoming more and more adult

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    Yeah, I tried that one on myself Redline . No animal testing still applies for me. A lot of other "principles" crumpled long ago however.

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  • Redline
    replied
    Well, it's not easy to admit.

    By the way, if you want to know if a person really believes in a rule he/she publicly promotes... ask them what they would do if said rule applied to their loved ones.

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    But they pretend they don't

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  • Redline
    replied
    Most people are.

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    I'm definitely morally flexible

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    Originally posted by Ryuji View Post
    Amirsh I know it can be disappointing but people are human beings, they are flawed. Try not to let your expectations stress you that much
    Thanks, you're right but I can't really help myself - it takes a lot of time of saying to yourself "that's what people are like, it's not that bad, it has nothing to do with me"... . Really almost anything stresses me out. He might not have actually done it but it's still a nasty situation to be in.

    I did distract myself with other other stuff oneironaut me related but it doesn't help that his face are in the news. He either did it and then I feel bad for him or he didn't and that makes me scared to think about what kind of people he works for.

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  • Ryuji
    replied
    Amirsh I know it can be disappointing but people are human beings, they are flawed. Try not to let your expectations stress you that much

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  • oneironaut
    replied
    Any way to communicate that the behavior stresses you out without implying you are trying to control their behavior? I had a video game relapse for about a week recently and just have to do whatever it takes to get present again and stay there. This includes making lists of things I want to do, talking to people I trust, listening to motivational stuff, and really focusing on self care as a foundation despite the turbulence (including workouts).

    If speaking up isn't really feasible try to find a way to focus your time on other people and your own improvement. I'm trying to figure this all out also.

    Also therapy has helped me out of my darkest times and I'll probably keep up with it forever.

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  • Redline
    replied
    Originally posted by Amirsh View Post
    I realized I don't know how to handle stress in a healthy way.
    Few people can.

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