A dreamer's journey to reconnect to the body

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    A dreamer's journey to reconnect to the body

    Hey everybody; here's my official training log. I want to share my story about depression, video game addiction, and finding a way forward through life again. On May 19th, 2019 I somehow found DAREBEE and it was the beginning of a realization that I was disconnected from my body; I was so weak, so tired that I was doing whatever I could to cope with the world and finding myself too afraid to speak up when I needed to.

    Sun May 19, 2019: I think I found darebee after a friend found an Iron Gym that I set up as a pull-up/chin-up bar. I realized I needed to start at basics if I wanted to do a pull-up or chin-up again without feeling like I should be in a recovery center. I started doing "Classic Warmup" only and realized it's going to be more important to start a habit of moving around every day than try to flail at the pull-up bar.

    Sat May 25: After a long tapering process under supervision of a psychiatrist I took my last dose of anti-depressants and realized exercise might be my best investment at fully adjusting to life again. At this point I am doing the "Classic Warmup" daily, adding in "Battle Angel" sets (only 1 set, not even "Level I"), and checking my strength occasionally on the pull-up bar. I'm surprised that the warm-up is leaving my shoulders feeling noticeably stronger likely from the chest expansions, side arm raises, and arm rotations alone.

    Getting my pulse up with Battle Angel starts to literally feel like it's clearing out my brain in ways that are hard to explain (wasn't sure if I was about to expect a headache or what was going on when it started). At some point I hit a groove where it actually feels good and started to look forward to sweating.

    Wed May 29: 5lbs of whey protein arrive; I'm doin' it. 3 shakes a day and as much exercise as I can tolerate. It is all starting to feel good and the grinding and clicking sounds my body made at first are easing up =P

    Sun June 2: Started jogging and got on a 5x a week schedule with abs on non-run days (I'm actually doing more sets on top of this base every day).

    Thur June 6: Started fighter's codex because I feel that variety helps and I'm enjoying imaginary combat. Some days are harder than others, I'm going at Level III; if exercises hurt I try doing them slower or altering what I'm doing to make sure I don't pop my leg off my hip lol

    Fri June 7: I QUIT COFFEE (which has been part of my identity forever but it was messing up my ability to sweat and feel good)

    Thur June 13: Day 7 of the fighter's codex complete (level III). Somewhere in all that sweating was 200 squats. Sets 2 and 3 I was already wondering if maybe I forgot to check a set off but eventually made it through all 10 sets no cheating

    So now I'm afraid to stop moving and am fit enough that my friends have noticed which is cool (but I really just want to be functional as a human again and IT IS HAPPENING). There have been a few naysayers but that's just like their opinion man.


    #2
    Hey oneironaut ,

    You are doing great, we'll be along for the ride

    Comment


      #3
      Awesome progress in one month. Changing old habits is probably the hardest part. Keep it Up!

      Comment


        #4
        oneironaut Welcome to the hive! I have to say what an awesome month. Keep on rocking! Can't wait to see the rest of your journey

        Comment


          #5
          Wow, that really is awesome progress in one month. Keep up the great work!

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by oneironaut View Post

            May 25: After a long tapering process under supervision of a psychiatrist I took my last dose of anti-depressants and realized exercise might be my best investment at fully adjusting to life again.
            June 7: I QUIT COFFEE (which has been part of my identity forever but it was messing up my ability to sweat and feel good)
            Wow, oneironaut , without knowing you the least bit, I honestly think that was the most important, best, most wonderfullest decision in your life!
            It was for me
            . There is scientific evidence without end on the positive effects of exercise on the psyche and there is a million tons of circumstantial, anecdotal evidence, of which my experience can count as millionth of a gram. So, I say: cheers!!!!!!!!

            You actually did quit coffee .. ammm, errrrr, mhh, zzzzsthhh, amph... ehem, me oh my
            I thought that was impossible
            ... so, You must be Superwoman.... the one exemplary case of self control everybody keeps talking about but has never seen ... superhuman?
            I My profession is to turn caffeine into anesthesia care, so I am legally not allowed to quit coffee.


            Anyway, all in all ... wow!

            cheers, martikkk

            Comment


              #7
              Sun June 16th, 2019: The past two days (14th & 15th) have been interesting; I had my first slow days: either choosing to go easy or skip my evening workout. I managed to stick to my morning run or ab routine but felt a good deal more tired than I had been and turned to the forums for advice on form, flexibility, and inspiration.

              I learned to take my side kicks and turning kicks more slowly and intentionally and got some additional advice in this thread. I got some resistance bands from amazon on the 14th and have been hoping I can use them to work on back/rowing and increase tension on squats/calf raises. Not sure how effective the bands are but figured they seem safe enough to mess around with (if they feel good I'll make plans to work them in more regularly).

              This morning, after a bit of catch-up sleep, I'm back in full form and got back on the fighter's codex (day 9, level I) with a whole lot more stretching than I had been doing. Turns out 20 days of enthusiastically exercising without enough stretching catches up to you =P

              I found myself feeling waves of guilt on slow days but focused on: sweating at least once a day (instead of twice), eating, sleeping, stretching, and improving my form which all paid off today with renewed energy.

              Comment


                #8
                Hey you're doing great, it's fine to have a slow day once in a while, fitness is not a sprint, it's a marathon.

                Also resistance bands are really useful for a lot of exercices. Let us know how it goes

                Comment


                  #9
                  Wed June 19th: 30 DAYS OF CONSECUTIVE EXERCISE! I made it to 30 days of breaking an honest sweat (sometimes once a day but always trying for twice). I feel amazing

                  My run route is exactly 1 mile round trip with a playground exactly in the center. This morning I broke my record for consecutive jogging to 0.5 miles (all the way to the ninja training grounds) without stopping (also lucked out on traffic lights).

                  Aside from my morning Run5x Abs2x routine, I'm getting excited about pull ups and some calisthenic youtube channels. My infrastructure muscles are filling in and I'm able to do 5 pull ups in a row with solid form right now. I've had the resistance bands mostly sitting around but plan to get them worked in (no hurry though, this 30 day milestone is hopefully just the beginning of all the time in the world to experiment with exercise).

                  I'm still working out how much stretching I can/should do after ignoring it for too long. My muscles feel better already but I also feel "stretch burn" a bit. I am focusing my stretching after I'm sweating (opposed to before and after) mostly due to time. Did an accidental ballistic side split this morning when my sock slipped off the rug on to the tile but was flexible enough to escape it safely =P

                  Edit: I'm so grateful to the resources here and everyone on this site. Every thread, like, comment keeps me blasting through barriers that show up every day.

                  30 days!
                  Screenshot showing the exercises done each day (abs 2 times a week and running 5 times a week)
                  Weekly schedule June 2019
                  Last edited by oneironaut; June 24th, 2019, 06:02 PM.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Congratz

                    And be careful of the tiles, they always lurk in the dark waiting for their time to strike

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by oneironaut View Post
                      June 19th: 30 DAYS OF CONSECUTIVE EXERCISE! I made it to 30 days of breaking an honest sweat (sometimes once a day but always trying for twice). I feel amazing

                      My run route is exactly 1 mile round trip with a playground exactly in the center. This morning I broke my record for consecutive jogging to 0.5 miles (all the way to the ninja training grounds) without stopping (also lucked out on traffic lights).

                      Aside from my morning Run5x Abs2x routine, I'm getting excited about pull ups and some calisthenic youtube channels. My infrastructure muscles are filling in and I'm able to do 5 pull ups in a row with solid form right now. I've had the resistance bands mostly sitting around but plan to get them worked in (no hurry though, this 30 day milestone is hopefully just the beginning of all the time in the world to experiment with exercise).

                      I'm still working out how much stretching I can/should do after ignoring it for too long. My muscles feel better already but I also feel "stretch burn" a bit. I am focusing my stretching after I'm sweating (opposed to before and after) mostly due to time. Did an accidental ballistic side split this morning when my sock slipped off the rug on to the tile but was flexible enough to escape it safely =P

                      Edit: I'm so grateful to the resources here and everyone on this site. Every thread, like, comment keeps me blasting through barriers that show up every day.

                      30 days!
                      five pullups on end is already more than most of us will ever do! respect! 👍 that's really something!
                      the main thing is that you're feeling good what l with what you do .... and that seems obviously the case... so, yay and once again yay!!!👍

                      cheers, martikkk 😎

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Congratulations on your 30 Days of Consecutive Exercise!
                        It's great to read how much working out has helped you in that time, and doing 5 pull-ups in a row is really, really impressive! Onwards to the 60 Days badge and here's on blasting through even more barriers!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Thur June 20th: Did my usual Thursday morning routine (Classic warmup, Knee saver, Run 20 min, Fighter's stretching). Not sure if I've mentioned it but my run route is exactly 1 mile round trip with a playground in the middle. I've been doing my best to make it to the playground without stopping and did well again today. Once at the playground, I check my watch to plan my 0.5 mile return jog (to stay within 20 minutes) and begin climbing and jumping on everything I can doing jump ups, pull ups on random stuff, go down the slide, and balance on various obstacles. When I'm done I hop the fence; the playground is how I try to get those "functional fitness" moves in.

                          Tonight I did Epic Arms, Upperbody blast, and Day 10 of the fighter's codex (1000 punches which I had to count out in groups of 100 to avoid losing count). I was scared to do day 10 and today it felt like a welcome challenge so I guess it was the right time. My dumbbells are at 10 lbs and I was able to break a light sweat. Sweating from weights is very different feeling from aerobics.

                          Non-fitness fun stuff: A bat showed up in my room at 1am and I was able to remain a lot more calm and confident in my ability to dodge and help the poor thing after 30 days of kicking doubt into outer space and getting back in my body. Eventually got out on its own and is back to catching mosquitoes for me

                          Workout music for the evening: The Prodigy – The Day Is My Enemy (Expanded Edition)
                          https://open.spotify.com/album/5OqlV...RFG3ChC1t81yhQ

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Nice, pretty good routine.

                            Also you spend the night with Batman, how cool is that ?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Fri June 21: This was an ab day so no morning run. Trying a list format like martikkk today:

                              - Classic Warmup
                              - Easy Abs Level III
                              - Various burpees
                              - Made a pork roast, brown rice, beans + okra + sweet potatoes + purple cabbage
                              - Classic Warmup
                              - Fighter's Codex Day 11
                              - Fighter's Stretching
                              - Posture Perfect
                              Happy Solstice! First day of summer here was cloudy but pushed through the cloudy feelings and broke a sweat
                              Took my music down a notch tonight and went with a nice mellow driving beat: Emancipator – Cheeba Gold
                              https://open.spotify.com/album/1srl5...REunJlR9vm2uIA

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X