I don't know that I actually consider myself a grownup, LOL. I am just... unwilling to ever go back to where I was.
Rinsplit 2.0 week 4 days 5 and 6
yesterday - ballance
This is something I really need to work on....and really suck at making myself work on lol. I stood on 1foot for 2 mins (1 min each) and went for a walk before work.
Today- "back and biceps"
Not really. Declined to go to the gym and get germs on shared equipment. Hammer w my 5lb dumbells
restarted back and core bc I like having a little extra thing as a program day 1
Weekly Digest all the drinks on my trip, none once home 28 miles. Yep...I was ill leaned on treats to keep moving, bad rin pants still tight 7/7 even if token
I did NOT want to work out today. Was trying to make excuses every which way. Some slight headache I swear is psychosomatic just bc I did not want to jump around and it was cardio day. Dragged myself w an extra coffee first and the promice of pumpkin spice coffee after, lol. Made some conditioning type sets out of "movements I felt willing to do", w a rule of 1 upper, 1 abs, 1 legs thing per set.
I did NOT want to work out today. Was trying to make excuses every which way. Some slight headache I swear is psychosomatic just bc I did not want to jump around and it was cardio day.
I've done this too. When I used to run in the morning it would be "I think my feet hurt" Ugh.
thanks HellYeah80 and lol CODawn and aveoturbo I am glad I am not the only one who does that shit >.>
Rinsplit 2.0 week 5 day 3
Ballance
Back and core, days 4, and 5 (5 bc it was ballance day)
o)
"Supposed" to do a fasting day today. But, I am still sick-ish (feel better but cough/mucus are lingering). I don't want to stress body out while healing (still sleeping extra, also). So, I will do my tiny breakfast/can of soup for dinner but I will take a real lunch with me. So will still have a super low calorie day, just not fasting. I made some killer lasagna w a ton of extra veggies in it yesterday so will bring some of that. (Added butternut squash, kale, and mushrooms in with the sausage (used 1 pkg italian chicken sausage and 1 of those split hot/sweet italian sausage packs), and put more kale into the ricotta instead of spinach. )
I need to actually get eating in check, tho. I am letting it ride w attempting 5/2 and "little old lady dieting" through the holiday stress season at work but if I'm not where I want to be in January it is back to keto since that actually worked for me. I will take diminished training capacity for a few months as my penance for being unable to follow a normal diet properly. I am just so uncomfortable in my skin atm it is absurd.
I am just so uncomfortable in my skin atm it is absurd.
That feeling is the worst. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
I find that full body motion exercises help. Combat moves and yoga are my favourites, but even burpees and pushups help. If I have to consciously think about and engage my entire body, it helps me be proud of what my body is capable of, and helps me centre in myself.
Maybe consider talking to a professional, if available? Body dismorphia is a serious mental health issue, often related to anxiety and depression. "Just get thin already" doesn't always work as an approach, as anyone who deals with anorexia will tell you.
I hope you find an approach that works for you, something that deals with this constant self-hate. You deserve to be happy in your skin, to be confident in your appearance, your abilities, and yourself. Best of luck.
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