Seeking Some Duct Tape

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    Healing vibes to ya, took me a week or so to get over it

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      Feeling slightly better.
      Shark week.

      Habits
      Out of bed before 7 0/3
      Composed outfit 3/3
      French Lesson 3/3
      Write/Job hunt 2/3
      Leave house 2/3

      Current Streak 276

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        I am not doing what I ought to do this week.
        But at least I did chest and back light.

        Habits
        Out of bed before 7 0/4
        Composed outfit 3/4
        French Lesson 4/4
        Write/Job hunt 3/4
        Leave house 2/4

        Current Streak 277

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          You’re 4 for 4 on your French lesson!

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            You're still doing something!

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              Thanks DorothyMH and Anek
              I need to be better at getting out of the house, I think, it really helps my mood. Altho I need to stop getting out of the house by bribing myself w ice cream.

              Today I met gym friends, it was nice.

              Habits
              Out of bed before 7 1/5
              Composed outfit 4/5
              French Lesson 5/5
              Write/Job hunt 3/5
              Leave house 3/5

              Current Streak 278

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                How about get out of the house to take pictures or find stuff to write about?

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                  I didn't die.
                  I didn't loose my streak (mostly walked, though).

                  Weight/body image talk spoiler.

                  I had a rough few days, saw a picture of myself (ironically, posted by gym friends) and just... really unfortunately spiral, mentally. I haven't put back ALL the weight I lost 4 years ago but... I put back a LOT. I'm now bigger than my mental image of myself (size 14ish) and it is fucking with me every time I notice that. I was honestly torn between "I should just fucking starve" and "fuck it, I'm a cow anyway, I should just live on ice cream and be a happy cow". When I lost the weight, I did so by doing 10 months of fairly strict keto. I was at a pretty good place, mentally, before starting so I was able to do that without making myself a maniac. I know me, I need a LOT of spare emotional energy to really diet without falling into disordered behavior/thought patterns. I don't have a lot of spare emotional energy right now. But, I'm also at a size where my body is unhappy. Never mind vanity. My acid reflux has returned, my ankles are tetchy, my resting heart rate is up, and I'm pretty sure my blood pressure etc wouldn't be great numbers right now. I need to find a way to get some of this weight back off to be healthy...WITHOUT focusing on my food enough to make myself mentally unhealthy.
                  Good thing I like a challenge.

                  I'm going to start with movement. I seem to do a better job at not eating nonsense/gigantic portions when I move enough so... putting 60 mins of movement back into my habits (which I'm resetting today). Let's see if this gets some results.

                  On the job hunt front, I now have 2 applications "in the wind" that I am really excited about. 1 is the fellowship one, the other is for a customer support role for a really neat company that actually wanted an essay instead of your resume as the application, which really amused me. Either one is a thing I can see myself doing happily for years, that will pay well above bare bones "just enough to get by". Many of the other apps I have out really pay "just enough to get by", and are things that don't excite me as much. Unfortunately, I won't hear back from either till the end of April. I'm in for a tense next few weeks.

                  Habits
                  Out of bed before 7 1/1
                  60 mins active time 1/1
                  Leave fucking house 1/1
                  French lesson 1/1
                  Write/Job Hunt 1/1

                  Current Streak 281

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                    I don't have wise words at the moment. Take care!

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                      Today, you are one for one on ALL THE THINGS!
                      I just heard a yoga gal say “Never miss a Monday!” And you didn’t!!

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                        I am with you...I haven't gained back all the weight I lost 10 years ago but most of it. I'm starting with movement too. Let's do this!

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                          NancyTree DorothyMH CODawn, thank you <3. I'm really trying to approach this from a health perspective. I'm going to do the things that will make me healthier - physically and mentally - regardless of what those things do to my weight.

                          I am also going to buy a SMALL (bc, small budget atm) amount of current sized clothing so that "I've got nothing to wear" doesn't become part of my angst in the meantime.

                          Today I walked in the woods, and saw community cat, it was nice.

                          Habits
                          Out of bed before 7 1/1
                          60 mins active time 2/
                          Leave fucking house 2/2
                          French lesson 2/2
                          Write/Job Hunt 2/2

                          Current Streak 282
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                            Originally posted by 'rin View Post
                            I am also going to buy a SMALL (bc, small budget atm) amount of current sized clothing so that "I've got nothing to wear" doesn't become part of my angst in the meantime.
                            I need to do this too, i have kept putting it off because the "i will lose the weight" mentality had me really believing I would. Maybe I will, but it hasnt happened yet and I only have 1 pair of comfortable pants i can wear to work, I have resorted to a couple elastic band skirts or dresses that are long, flowy and comfy. I reaalllyyy need some dress pants though. It's also hard to shop for a girl with a big badonkadonk(the dreaded gap, to short, tight in some areas loose in others, just shoot me!) ugh!

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                              Love the kitty!!!

                              I'm so lucky to work from home. I got rid of all my bigger clothes when I lost the weight a few years ago.😒

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                                Pretty cat and hugs. The situation is already tough with the pandemic, it makes it much harder to take good care of oneself. But you, girl, can do it. I know it. Keep up the good fight!

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