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    Hugs and healing vibes to all three of you. What a dreadful mess. Take care.

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      Thank you:
      CODawn
      Mamatigerj
      'rin
      NancyTree
      Mianevem
      Gandhalfit
      Anek
      TopNotch
      PetiteSheWolf
      TheLibrarian
      DorothyMH
      VacTom
      sunpetal
      Whirly
      AnnieW

      Gandhalfit the treatment we have received from that hospital has nothing at all to do with Covid. Certainly we hesitated to send my father to the hospital at all, because we knew they had Covid cases there. If we were not in the midst of a pandemic, probably we would have called for an ambulance a day earlier. And my mother would have gone up to the hospital with my father. So when they discharged him she would have been there to ask why he still had a needle in his arm and where was the prescription for his antibiotic. But they still would have discharged him and sent him back home to us in a psychotic state and ignored my mother's protestations that we cannot cope with him in that state. I'm sure if we did file a complaint the hospital would write off all the problems as being caused by Covid. But neither my father's PSW nor his home care nurse were surprised by anything that happened. They have seen it all before from that hospital, long before Covid was an issue.

      The sad truth is that my country does not invest nearly enough resources into the care of our seniors. When a hospital discharges a patient like my father back into a home they know does not have the resources to care for him, they might ask, "Have you thought about placing him in a long term care home?" (My mother has been asked this question several times this week, by various people.) As if asking the question somehow absolves them of responsibility for the patient. Waiting lists for long term care homes for patients who require the level of care my father requires are typically over a year long. There simply aren't any beds anywhere for emergency situations like the one we experienced where a person who was being cared for at home suddenly becomes very much worse to the point of overwhelming his home care resources.

      My father's parents immigrated to Canada a couple of years after we did. They had an apartment in a seniors' building in the same town where we lived. (It was independent living, just a building where all of the units were rented to senior citizens.) Shortly before they moved to Canada, my grandmother had had a heart attack, and my grandfather had had a stroke, and lost a leg to gangrene. He had to re-learn how to walk and talk again afterward, and still had some speech problems when they moved to Canada. (My brother was a pre-schooler at the time and helped my grandfather on his speech rehab by drilling him on the names of all of his Sesame Street figurines.) Things were okay for a few years. But then my grandmother had a stroke too. She was hospitalized to deal with the immediate medical crisis, but once that had passed, she was shipped back home to my almost 80-year-old, one-legged grandfather who then was forced to provide care for his wife who was now incontinent, wheelchair-bound, and unable to speak. This happened in the 1980s, long before Covid was an issue for anyone, and my grandfather received even less assistance than we get for my father now.

      At least today we have had a peaceful day, because my father spent almost the entire time sleeping. We have had to wake him up to give him food and medications. But otherwise he has slept. He fell asleep this morning while his attendant was doing his mobility exercises with him. So she asked us if she could leave him in bed or if we wanted her to try to get him into his chair. My mother said to leave him in bed. Later he told my mother he wanted to be put in his chair, but she explained to him that he was too ill to be in his chair today. He seemed to accept that. Then he fell asleep again. (It is really tough for us to deny him his wheelchair. For 35 years we have been focussed on preserving my father's autonomy as much as possible. His electric wheelchair is pretty much the last vestige of autonomy he has left. Without it, he is completely helpless. But when he's in the chair and making a mess of things like he was on Friday, his behaviour ends up controlling my and my mother's lives--we'd essentially be sacrificing our own autonomy just to give him the illusion of still having some control which he doesn't truly have when he's too ill to operate the chair anyhow.) Here's hoping rest and antibiotics will give my father some semblance of himself back soon.

      Comment


        Hang in there, the night is darkest before the dawn.

        Health care and elderly care seems to be all messed up, which the pandemic has brought to light. The for-profit homes are not a solution, just a way to make some people richer off of what should be a government function (not to mention abusing their power to steal vaccines). I am afraid that certain things are going to be forgotten from this whole episode once it is over. The fact that there were homes for elderly care reusing needles to save money has probably been largely forgotten by now, and something that probably won't be on anyone's minds once we get the all-clear on COVID. If they do make some fundamental changes after then that could be a silver lining to this whole thing. We do see things a little bit from the other side as my wife is an emergency room nurse, as she gets frustrated all the time as well, but this is not a zero sum game where there is a winner and loser, seems like an organization revitalization is necessity.

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          Sorry, didn't mean to upset you again. I'm guessing there aren't a lot of choices where you live?

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            Oh my goodness, that is horrible! I am so sorry you all are having to deal with all of that. I can't even...I have seen and dealt with some similar issues but not to that extent. It is so sad that people who need more care can't get it and it is left to the families to try and figure out what to do. Not being medically trained to deal with such things, but here you are expected to do it with little to no help. Sending vibes your way, UTI's are no joke! My MIL was hospitalized for a bad one, and I have gotten pretty sick myself from one. ( I am reeling with them leaving a IV in, that is very careless)

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              I agree CaptainCanuck , and I share your same concern. Anyone in Ontario who did not know how bad the situation with elder care here is a year ago certainly knows now, after all the lives we lost last spring. But what has been done about it? Even now, while we're still in the midst of the problem, our province is continuing to prioritize money over human lives. I do think change needs to come at a fundamental level, as you say, change that will take more than a year to fully realize. But we could have done more to prevent things getting, once again, as bad as they have done.

              Gandhalfit I'm not upset with you. I'm just saying you're mistaken. People here definitely understand that we're in the midst of a pandemic. (Canada, sadly, has its share of conspiracy theorists, just like everywhere else, but even they cannot fail to notice the effects the pandemic--regardless of what they choose to believe about it--is having on everyday life in Ontario.) You're correct that we are starting to see hospitals becoming overwhelmed with the burden of Covid now--but this is actually new for Ontario. We did not have overwhelmed hospitals last spring. We did have a lot of long term care homes that were overwhelmed with Covid last spring, and a lot of people died in them. But our hospitals did okay. The situation here is very much worse now. Now some of our hospitals are being stretched beyond their limits (though not yet the hospital my father was in, which is still accepting transfers from hospitals in other regions which have become overwhelmed). And our long term care homes are being hit hard again. There is one LTC in my region, a facility with 103 beds, which now has 92 cases of Covid (this includes cases amongst residents and staff). One resident there has died so far. There is another LTC elsewhere in Ontario that has now had all 129 of its patients, plus 105 staff members contract Covid, and 69 of the residents have died. Things never should have gotten this bad here. Health care professionals have been sounding the alarm for months, begging our provincial government to do more to stop the spread of Covid, telling the province time and time again that our healthcare system would become overwhelmed if the province did not act. Sadly, Ford (our premier) and his cronies refused to shut anything down until it was too late. And so now here we are. But the problems with our elder care system pre-date Covid by many years.

              Thank you Trbrat75 . My father has had issues with UTIs before. But we've never had one manifest as psychosis before. Neither my mother nor I knew that was a possible symptom of a UTI. We thought it was just his MS. But this time the psychosis was the only symptom (or at least the only symptom that was evident to us--if my father experienced other symptoms earlier, he did not share this information with us). Neither my father's PSW who came to see him on Saturday night, nor the home care nurse who came Sunday morning, were surprised the hospital sent him home with the IV catheter still in his arm. They told us that hospital neglects to remove IVs all the time.

              This morning my mother asked my father's PSW to leave him in bed once again. This is a bit of a sticky situation for the PSW, because she is supposed to be providing "client-directed care" and her client (my father) did NOT want to remain in bed. But the PSW could see that he still is not well, and she knows well the level of assistance my mother and I have to provide to him throughout the day when there is no one else here. So she complied with my mother's request to leave my father in bed. He's still sleeping most of the time, but he's been awake more today than yesterday, and has used these periods of wakefulness to complain to both me and my mother about being in bed. At least he hasn't said anything yet today about imaginary people or imaginary food.

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                I didn't mean Canada, sorry for the misunderstanding. I was talking about here. Similar situation with care for elderly people but people "don't get what the big deal is". Yeah, I should have mentioned it's a personal grievance caused by local asshats.

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                  what a horrible situation to be in. i can unfortunately understand the confusion you and your mom feel around the psychosis (Mom saw bananas chasing us through the house when they upped her pain meds - i wonder if that will be the next 24 hour tv channel - foods that attack!). prayers and hugs. and an ear and an open heart and a box of tissue - for both the laughter and the tears.

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                    Hugs for you and your parents, especially your father. That must be horrendous for him to go through and heartbreaking to watch. I really hope that with the antibiotics he will be doing better soon and will feel safe again.

                    Hallucinations are a common symptom of UTIs in older people. I was taught that with unexpected signs of psychosis, delirium etc, or sudden worsening of those symptoms if they already have them, one of the first things to check is for a UTI. I wish this was more widely known, it would save a lot of stress for families like yours if people knew what to look out for.

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                      Originally posted by Zastria View Post

                      Hallucinations are a common symptom of UTIs in older people. I was taught that with unexpected signs of psychosis, delirium etc, or sudden worsening of those symptoms if they already have them, one of the first things to check is for a UTI. I wish this was more widely known, it would save a lot of stress for families like yours if people knew what to look out for.
                      This is true, and it is as well a common symptom in elderly folks with sepsis sourced from respiratory system or skin wounds, sometimes not noticed, until the psychosis is apparent. They often don’t run a fever, and may have no other sign of an infection until they are crazy. Then you look at the lungs, the urine and the skin. And treat with antibiotics “empirically” until you have a source cultured out.

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                        Positive vibes, and lots of strength!

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                          Thank you daejamurrachan Zastria DorothyMH @sleep_twitch

                          Zastria DorothyMH my father has had UTIs before. Bad ones. He's at high risk of getting them again. Yet no one ever suggested to us psychosis was a symptom to watch out for. At least we know now.
                          Tomorrow we have a phone consult with an internist who specializes in geriatrics. Here's hoping he will have some useful information for us.

                          My father has been doing better the past two days. He's been up in his chair, eating well, and aware of reality. The home care nurse was here this morning, and he consented to her leaving the internal catheter in for now, so she can better monitor that situation.

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                            Glad to hear that your father is improving!

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                              This morning:

                              mother: I'm having a senior moment. I just asked him and cannot remember if he said he wants one or two.
                              me: One or two what?
                              mother: Syringes.
                              me: Oh. That's okay. So long as you're not having a senior moment about asking him if he wants one or two cups of tea.
                              mother: No. I was asking him about his oil.
                              me: That's good. Because he's not allowed to have tea right now.
                              mother: Right. I know.

                              (My father takes his tea with a copious amount of milk, but he's not allowed to have dairy with his current antibiotic.)

                              Half an hour later:

                              me: I'm about to put the dishwasher on. Do you have anything you want to add?
                              mother: Your father still has a mug in his room. I guess we can put that in.
                              (She goes down to my father's room. Returns a few seconds later carrying said mug.)
                              mother: He's not finished it yet. I'm just going to heat it up for him.
                              (She puts the mug in the microwave.)
                              me: What are you heating?
                              mother: His tea.


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