Trbrats training log...Ready to Get Rugged

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    basecamp -

    Thank you all so much for your condolences

    lofivelcro - Thank you for saying that, I appreciate it more than you know! I admit to feeling some guilt about it.



      Just walking my dogs - Feeling meh. We now have an extra pupper we are watching for a friend, so we did extra walking because she needs to lose weight lol


      I walked the dogs, i started on Simbas memorial and did some extensive weeding, so lots of duck walking, forward folds and squats lol. Got the zero turn mower stuck in mud and panicked, so I lifted and yanked and pulled and grunted until I got it moved enough to get it out...whew! Decided it was just too wet to mow because of the steepness of the back yard and not wanting to screw anything else up and just put the mower away lol.

      I tried to find some flowers for the grave area, something to plant in those concrete blocks. It was harder than I thought it would be, because everyone is running out of flowers at this point, and I needed something that would do good in a pretty shaded area. 3rd place I stopped did the nicest thing for me. Most of what they had left was plants that require a lot of sun. They had a couple of hanging baskets of plants that would work(i have forgotten the names of the plants already) and she just broke off pieces from 2 different plants and told me I can just stick them in the dirt and they would take root and grow. I like simple! I dont have a green thumb at all, no matter how hard I try lol. So I am hoping that I got them planted well enough to take off. I even had some left over so i planted those to see if I can get then to grow too! So, no money had to be spent and I am really appreciative of the fact that she was willing to do that for me!



        Yoga with Tim - Day 8 -
        OMG those lunges though, my knees were cracking and popping OOF did not like that.

        He is a little hard for me to follow, but I guess that will just take time to get used to his way of training. I got Adriane figured out to where I wouldnt have to constantly watch the screen. It is hard to look at the phone screen while I am doing yoga and it totally messes up the flow because I have to keep moving my phone

        Easy Core - Day 12 - Did 25 before yoga and 25 after

        :Looked at Ten, said nah. I think today i will get that out of the way first lol

        Walked doggos


          Trbrat75 I am so sorry for your loss of Simba. It is always hard to say goodbye, and doubly so, I think, when the need to do so arises unexpectedly like that.

          Congratulations on your 100 + day workout streak and on your great progress with your running! Congrats too for completing Arms of Steel! (Those push-up days!)

          Those are definitely Fritillaries in the first and third photos on your June 21 post. One of the butterflies from your June 22 running photo is a Fritillary too. I am not what kind of Fritillary they are though. Could definitely be Great Spangled. But there are a number of similar Fritillary species, and I'm not familiar with them at all. (Have only seen Great Spangled myself, and only those a few times.) The June 21 photos I think are:

          1. Fritillaries
          2. some kind of Swallowtail (probably Black Swallowtail. or maybe Spicebush Swallowtail. Do you have Spicebush in your area? There are other dark species of ST I'm not familiar with too.), and a Silver Spotted Skipper
          3. more Fritillaries
          4. I have no idea! Looks cool though! Do you know what it is? Does it have a swallow-shaped tail?


            Rainbow Dragon thank you, one minute i was thinking he was going to be ok and be able to come home and then to find out he hit me harder than I thought it would.
            My running has gone to the wayside again...we have been getting so much rain, and when it's not raining it gets so hot and muggy out. But I have kept up my streak, some days just barely enough to count, but still, lol

            As for the butterflies, I think photo 2 is a Pipevine, after closer inspection of another photo. #4 I believe is a Zebra Swallowtail (Eurytides Marcellus) *thank you for knowing more about the species than me, it makes me challenge myself to learn more, because at first I thought it was a spicebush, but thought it could also be a pipevine, so I looked at other pics I had and was able to identify the species!


              Click image for larger version  Name:	pipevine.JPG Views:	0 Size:	109.1 KB ID:	803385

              Rainbow Dragon here is a different view

              I have several other pics of the Zebra Swallow tail and other butterflies here

              Anyone is welcome to view them if they want


                Thanks for the pictures, they're great. I love butterflies way too much and the blue/yellow one in your post is absolutely stunning.


                  I agree with your Pipevine ID. I think the colouration on the ventral wing surface is clearly Pipevine. Also--I just learned this yesterday--I think you can diagnose Pipevine from the shape of the tail tips in the first photograph you posted. Black Swallowtail has long, pointed tails. (See here.) Spicebush Swallowtail has spoon-shaped tails. (See here.) Pipevine Swallowtail has relatively long tails, but with rounded tips, as in your photo.

                  In my area we have three species of Swallowtail which are commonly black: Spicebush, Black, and Giant Swallowtails. GT is only black on top. Its ventral side is yellow. Plus, it truly is a giant. One can diagnose GT from the size alone. SS and BS I can normally guess at accurately simply from the surrounding vegetation. If there is a lot of Spicebush in the area, it's almost always going to be a SS. If there's no Spicebush, it's not SS. Beyond that, I had been focussing on colouration alone and had not noticed the tail shape. But tail shape is evident in most of my photographs of SS and BS.

                  According to my ROM Field Guide to the Butterflies of Ontario, Pipevine Swallowtails do occur here--but they are rare. Ditto for the Zebra Swallowtail. I live in the part of Ontario where one would expect to find Pipevine and Zebra Swallowtails if one were to find either species here. But we are at the very northern tip of the range for both species, more in the zone for vagrants, I think. I have never seen either, and the species list (published by NABA, I presume) for species to look for in the local butterfly count for my area (which we just did yesterday!) does not include either species.

                  Thank you for sharing the additional photographs. You have some great shots there! I can clearly see the Zebra Swallowtail markings in some of your photos. So beautiful!

                  I'm with you on the weather-unsuitable-for-running front. Lots of rain or high heat and humidity here too. Most days it's not too bad before 8AM. But I also have to walk my dogs before it gets too hot out. (Trudy especially struggles in the heat.) Plus I don't like to run first thing in the morning. I find my body needs time to wake up and limber up some before doing strenuous exercise. So I've mostly been walking Trudy at 6AM, then Shelby after, and then forcing myself to head back out for my run. I'm not going to log any great times in this heat, but the work helps to make me stronger and faster for the future all the same.


                    Butterflies and Bumblebees?! You spoil us!

                    Those are beautiful pictures; thanks so much for sharing them!


                      awe, thanks!


                        EMOTIONAL DUMP POST - proceed with caution

                        I am struggling so much with motivation again. I am still making sure to get out and walk a few times a day.

                        Truth is I am tired. Tired of being afraid. Tired of feeling alone. Tired of worry and constant anxiety. Tired of living a lie. I am tired of feeling guilty.

                        I have let it go on for so long (29 years) that it has become normal, and now that I am awakening more and more, and realizing...I mean, really realizing what I have become is a type of PTSD and the way I am now is linked to trauma responses for the way I have been treated and, as my daughter put it, brain-washed, I know what i have to do. Lets face it, I have known for a long time. I have to leave. But, I have tried. I have tried several times to leave. He plays on my guilt, or threatens(threatening is a years older tactic, guilt works much better for him now that the kids are mostly grown) So I feel stuck. I feel bad for wanting to leave. He knows exactly what to say to play on that guilt. I am taking some baby steps on pointing out that his truth isn't the real truth. Stories that he has twisted to make him look better, or so people will feel sorry for him. I called him on it the other day, so he just changed his story. I do love him, and that sucks. Sometimes he's great...but that doesnt lesson my anxiety of wondering when the next time will be that he will flip out.

                        I found out a couple months ago that my daughter is pregnant. I should be happy and celebrating, but I am scared shitless because she won't have anything to do with him(her father)now and I know I should tell him that she is pregnant(6 mos now) but I am scared of what he will do or say, and the longer i wait, the worse it will be, and I know that, and still am to scared to say anything. She doesnt care if I tell him or not, she says he will not be involved in her babys life. Luckily we got her car loan out of mine and his name and into hers alone this week, so he can't threaten to take her car away anymore...that is really the only leverage he had on her, the only thing he could control. Well, I guess, other than me. I hate who i have afraid to stand up for myself, my kids. A fucking coward.

                        I know that facing this fear is what I have to do. Nothing will change until I do...but that deep seeded fear. I literally freeze, if you read here (hope i did that right) the fawn response, every single thing that is listed is me. I also read on conflict avoidance and yeah...if the person that I am dealing with has a strong, assertive personality, as my husband does, I am very likely to back off. I am not going to say that i am always afraid to speak up, i'm not, but it depends on the personality of the person I am dealing with, if that makes any sense. I will go to great lengths to try and avert a conflict. Which, if I am honest, never works out anyways, but I cant help it.

                        I feel like a caged animal. Pacing behind her barred walls, waiting.

                        I know that was a lot of rambling and might not make a lot of sense


                          If my words have any worth, i want to say you are no coward. Having a situation like that on would make anyone feel powerless. I really hope your situation turns for better and wish you all the best.



                              We are here for you, whatever you decide and wind up doing. Hugs to you.🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️


                                Stay strong, we are all here for you!