Trbrats training log...Ready to Get Rugged

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    The phoenix looks perfect 😊

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      That looks like a great tattoo, especially if you customise it a bit to your liking. Very fitting. Can't say it any better than Fremen already did

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        Thank you . I have made a sketch and added a little red in the wings... it's amazing. And my tattoo guy said he could totally do it. So now I need to figure out how big I want it and where to put it.

        Yesterday my illusions were shattered and all the things I suspected came to light. I'm glad I know people that can tell me about his bullshit, and now I feel much better and the guilt has dissipated tremendously. He does know my daughter is pregnant and is telling people I left because I was afraid to tell him...well that is partially true, but I am sure he is spinning it different then the reality of it. Said I had been hiding money....when he was the one walking around with a pocket full of money. But, yes, I did have a small stash. It took me months and months to get $300, but I put my birthday money in our account and used it on bills, so technically only $200 went 'missing' as he put it. He said he wasn't even sad that I was gone, just upset because he was going to have to do everything himself now. He hadn't even hiding the fact from his friend that he was talking to another woman, he would sit there and message her while he was over at 'The Cave' (his friends garage they made into a nice man cave). They said he would message her these long ass messages while he was there.

        Fuck him.

        Today I walk a little taller, hold my head a little higher, and feel a lot less heavy from the weight I have been carrying for so long. He will see me rise, and thrive...and he will crash and burn

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          Click image for larger version  Name:	received_386393496357953.jpeg Views:	0 Size:	55.1 KB ID:	815474a little messy, but you get the idea, I still need to add a little smoke. Options for placement are left forearm, left bicep, or upper chest/shoulder area. I want to be able to see it. I have a tat on my right forearm and bicep. I am leaning towards chest as if i lose weight it wont affect the skin,....and it will be close to my heart....Thoughts?

          Not gonna lie, this looks like it will hurt like hell lmao

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            I'm not sure if smoke will do it right, I think it's already perfect and clean.

            I had to think of a tattoo someone I know tattooed (a link because I stole the picture off her FB: Missing Ink Tattoo)

            It is HUGE, and I think I like your drawing better, it is more subtle and graceful, but I like how she used the shape of anatomy to shape the bird.

            Click image for larger version

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              NancyTree woah, that is big! I like the way they did the wings

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                That whole torso one would hurt like a MOFO going up into the ribs like that🙀. I like the idea of left forearm, on the inner side, where you can turn your arm up to see it in the tender area..? It would be representative of the pain you’ve experienced to get this far, in that spot.

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                  Fuck him indeed.

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                    I'm leaning more to the chest/shoulder placement, if you already have tats on your arms. That probably would look really cool (or hot, because it's a phoenix, little pun and such).
                    And it's nice of him that he behaves in a way to make it emotionally easier for you.

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                      Originally posted by Trbrat75 View Post
                      Today I walk a little taller, hold my head a little higher, and feel a lot less heavy from the weight I have been carrying for so long.


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                        I have a tattoo that's extremely important to me on my left chest and I love it! The spots that are close to the armpit and right on the collarbone did hurt like hell, but I think that the memory of that pain only makes it more important.

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                          Originally posted by sleep_twitch View Post
                          I have a tattoo that's extremely important to me on my left chest and I love it! The spots that are close to the armpit and right on the collarbone did hurt like hell, but I think that the memory of that pain only makes it more important.
                          Yes, that was my thought as well

                          And it's nice of him that he behaves in a way to make it emotionally easier for you.
                          lofivelcro Right, like thanks so much pal! I feel soooo much better. People keep telling me I need to get angry because of what he has put me through, but I have a hard time with that. Let me tell you, those comments helped a lot! Now my thinking is changing and I am not taking the blame anymore.

                          3 whole days with zero contact. I do need to go back to the house for some things but idk if i am ready to walk back in that house. I want to see my dog though. I had to leave one behind and I feel horrible about it, she must be so upset and confused. My Stubby is starting to adjust to his new surroundings, so that's good. This morning I was thinking about the mums I had planted and wondering if they were starting to bloom yet and I hurt my own feelings and started crying. I put so much of myself into that house.

                          Since this is a workout log i guess i should mention I am still walking everyday, (longer walks with the new neighborhood) and hope to start up with something soon. My mom has an exercise bike I can use, maybe I will try to start running again. We shall see.

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                            You might think about going an entire week before visiting the house. That gives you and your dog a solid week in a new environment. Then, take your son or your stepdad with you to help get more things. Doing it when HE isn’t there is also advisable, so you can avoid the confrontation piece.
                            Can you dig up the mums and move them in a pot to your mom’s?
                            I liked that he was an asshole so that you could hear it, and that your ire was stirred up again. So helpful.

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                              Originally posted by Trbrat75 View Post
                              People keep telling me I need to get angry because of what he has put me through, but I have a hard time with that.
                              You don't have to be angry, you feel just the way you feel, jou can't make yourself feel anything that isn't there, and there's no right or wrong in that. Anger sometimes can help seperate yourself from someone, but so can other feelings like relief. The most important guideline is that you have to take care of yourself, do what's healthy for you (and your son). Because all feelings can guide you into doing unhealthy stuff.

                              So, you don't have to feel a certain way, it is okay to feel what you feel. How you deal with it is more important.

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                                Angry doesn't solve anything if you're not the type for that. People often say raging and getting loud and venting your emotions by screaming helps, but that's not true for everyone. You have to find your own way to deal with the situation, whether it's crying, working out, cuddling your dog or going on with your life as best as you can.
                                Basically what NancyTree said.

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