Is My Taste in Girls at Odds with My Lifestyle?

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    Is My Taste in Girls at Odds with My Lifestyle?

    I know this is a bit of an unusual question, but it was something that crossed my mind while I was browsing Tinder the other night. I’m quite the fitness enthusiast myself. I exercise pretty intensely everyday and play recreational sports about twice a week, sometimes more. However, when it comes to girls, the type I tend to be attracted to are kind of the opposite of that. What’s on the inside is what’s important, and I do love women of all shapes and sizes, but ever since I went out on a date with this girl who was on the huskier side early on this year that I was super attracted to, I’ve found what I’m into has changed and I have a definite preference for plus size girls now (not super big, but definitely a few extra pounds more than average at least, it’s hard to describe) even if that might seem odd to other people, especially for what you’d expect a guy who’s a hardcore gym rat to like lol.

    I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with me having this preference, or that it’s even all that unusual now that I think about it, but I do kind of wonder how this would come into play relationship wise. I would never ask a girl to go to the gym with me or anything unless she wanted to, so if she was, for lack of a better term, a couch potato, that’s something that wouldn’t bother me and that I’d accept. From a fitness angle, would someone who’s physically active and that lives a healthy lifestyle be incompatible with someone who didn’t? I’ve honestly never been in a serious relationship before, so I’m not sure how this would work out for me. I’d appreciate some input here from anyone who has some experience with this, because I just can’t help but feel like what I’m attracted to conflicts a bit with what I’m passionate about, and I’d like to be able to alleviate that if I can.

    #2
    Couples don't have to do everything together, I go to a gym and my wife belongs to hiking groups. She also meets with her friends for walks and coffee shop. We do things together but not all the time. In our apartment I do my Tai Chi forms while she does her Yoga in another room.

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      #3
      It could be difficult if one person thinks their lifestyle is "healthy" and the other person's is, therefore, "unhealthy". There could be undercurrents of disapproval. But, if two people like each other and find they have enough in common to have a good relationship together, other things can subtly change. Someone who, for example, lived at the gym might find it preferable to be more at home; someone who was fairly inert might find a weekend walk a pleasant thing. Seriously, the only way for you to find this out is to be bold and have a go. You might find yourself more passionate about a person than a habit. And if not, so long as you are kind, no harm done.

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        #4
        I think that it would be important that the person you find is as passionate about something as you are about sport, so that you both have something you love independently of each other. This would make it more balanced, so that she would not grudge you the time you spend exercising instead of with her. And so that you both have something to share with the other.

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          #5
          Honestly, I can't see something like that working out long term. Maybe at first you'd think it's no problem, but imo you being fit and she being fat (for lack of other terms) also presents a difference in personalities. Most likely incompatible ones. Just my personal opinion.
          Also, did you fall for the high test meme?

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            #6
            lofivelcro Thanks for being honest. That’s a good point, even if I do think I could work through the difference, I also understand why I unfortunately might not be able to. I’m sorry, but what’s the high test meme lol 😅? I googled it, but I don’t think the ones I saw are what you’re talking about.

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              #7
              This is a great question, and there are a lot of factors.

              Something to ask yourself is why you value fitness. If you value it just because you find it fun, that's one thing. If you value it because life is awesome and you want to live the best, longest life you can, that's another. Whatever value you find in it, it's important to know.

              Another thing to think about is what's appealing to you in a relationship? Some people want to have partners who are physically up for any adventure they are, some people don't, and sometimes there is an in-between. If you're traveling together and you have to run to catch your bus/train/plane and your partner can't run, is that okay?

              The person you're (eventually) with matters, too. Why are they unfit and to what degree? If this ends up being the one, what's life with them going to be like 50 years down the road? It probably sounds a little nuts to think about now, but I've seen how painful it can be for the healthy spouse to watch their beloved unhealthy spouse barely survive a medical emergency and then refuse to make any lifestyle changes to prevent a future, and most likely fatal, episode.

              Finally, I'll say that not all chubby people are unfit. I've known marathoners and Iron Man triathletes who pack extra weight while being in incredible shape.

              Best of luck to you! It's a difficult question, and I hope you're able to figure out what works for you.

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                #8
                sunpetal Honestly, I'd say I value fitness for both of those reasons. As for them being active and going on adventures and whatnot with me. I'd say I'm definitely in the middle there. I'd like for them to do that sort of thing with me even if they can't quite keep up, although if they aren't interested, that's something I can accept because I'd say I'm a fairly open-minded person. Running to catch a plane or something isn't something I see being an issue though, because not gonna lie, I'd rather just drive in that case. I might like to run, but I hate being in a rush lol.

                Not all chubby people necessarily being unfit is another good point. I mean, one of my favorite basketball players of all time is Charles Barkley, and he didn't earn the nickname "the Round Mound of the Rebound" for nothing lol. The same thing can happen even at lower levels and I also know athletes like that. I mean, I know some people who play college sports who might have twice as much body fat as I do or more, but they could still kick my ass in a game of hockey, or basketball, or whatever sport they play hahaha.

                Thanks! I've gotten some good input here, and I think I should be able to figure something out if I ever end up dating someone who's not into fitness like me.

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