Scared

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  • Rainbow Dragon
    replied
    Originally posted by Colin View Post
    I took a long break from the internet, during which time we have mostly been gardening and painting the house.


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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    I took a long break from the internet
    That's reasonable. I would spend the whole day in the garden if I had one. Stay safe and take care.

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  • Colin
    replied
    PetiteSheWolf Rainbow Dragon Milkman 4 abs CaptainCanuck Amirsh Shield-Wolf BusyBumbleBee

    Thank you all so very much for your replies and for sharing your thoughts, I am genuinely humbled, and have had another cry - a good one.

    I'm sorry I can't reply more substantially to you all right now but I wanted to say that venting all that was very useful to me, the replies were moving and heartening, and after posting it I took a long break from the internet, during which time we have mostly been gardening and painting the house.

    You're all amazing.

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    Where are you Colin by the way?

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  • BusyBumbleBee
    replied
    What might help to get a sense of proportion for personal risk in this crisis is comparing this with driving a car.
    There are something around 40Mio vehicles licensed in the UK with about 180k accidents with injuries occurring per year, of which around 1800 are fatal (data from 2017). I guess you still drive a car, do you? To minimize your risk you stick to speed limits, don’t cross the red light, drive on the correct side of the road, wear a safety belt.
    Compared to that you have something in the range of 6 to 10k confirmed cases for 66Mio people with something like 350 deaths.
    You can minimize your risk by staying away from other people as much as possible, keeping a distance of 2m if you cannot avoid them completely, sticking to hygiene rules, and taking care of yourself with good food, enough sleep and exercise in fresh air (not in groups of course)
    This analogy is not perfect I realize that, but what I am aiming at is that there is a lot you can do to protect yourself and even in case you would get infected the chances of survival are still high, even with your pre-existing condition. Don‘t forget a e.g. 6% fatality rate also means 94% of people do indeed survive!

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  • BusyBumbleBee
    replied
    Since I am really not good at expressing empathy in written form I‘ll just send virtual hugs!

    I hope you‘ll find a way to cope and feel better fast. I think the others already mentioned good things. Talk about your fears either with friends on the phone or if available with a professional, try to stay away from social media that are toxic to you, practice selfcare (do something you like, a nice walk, good food, a really long hot shower etc.) and implement the measures you can control ( social distancing, staying home, hygiene measures)

    Here are some magnolias in front of a perfect blue sky I photographed on my walk yesterday to fill your thoughts with something pretty:

    Click image for larger version  Name:	61B4A47D-908D-46B6-BF54-0C62CF00DA10.jpeg Views:	7 Size:	322.9 KB ID:	669408

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  • Shield-Wolf
    replied
    First of all, Colin and most importantly, stay safe and healthy, be it from Covid19, or your own mind. It is far too easy in times like these (or any really dark period in your life) to let your mind and your thoughts become your own worst enemy. I can understand that you are scared, as you stated in your post, but know that you are not alone. You have friends here in The Hive. Right now the most dangerous epidemic threatening our world and way of life is not Covid19, but the fear surrounding the misinformation being spread about this virus through the media, both social and news. I have tuned out the news media in my area as they have become little more than rumor mills perpetuating an already burdensome fear over the general people. Instead I look to sources such as the CDC,(Center for Disease Control) and my contacts in the Medical community who have access to the facts surrounding this situation so that I may be as informed as I can.

    If you need a friendly ear or a word of encouragement, know that my ear is open should you need it. Til then,be safe, take care, and don't listen to anything that is not backed by medical or concrete fact.
    From one writer to another, best wishes.

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  • Gandhalfit
    replied
    I'm absolutely certain it's not corona and probably not even the flu. The common cold is afterall common and it can come in varied forms. Or something else not life threatening.
    Like others said, meditation, some junk food... If I may suggest - make a list of fun videos on youtube (Simon's Cat for example) and make a list of them and other things that would be just fun. Then, delete also your youtube view history - don't use the recommendations and instead search for things from the list.

    Listen to music.

    This is an opportunity to really delve into Welch learning. Or anything else really.
    For reliable medical information you have the NHS. My clinic uses it on their website and there's a box at the top left corner of web pages that state :Courtesy of Britain's NHS.

    Misinformation in general is something humanity is happy to adopt. Hardly any society is immune to it. You can find reliable information online - not social media, that's too confusing.
    As for the news, as my professor for Earth Science (for Geographers) used to say - a hundred years are a brush of the rock's first layer that was exposed to air... He said it better (and I'm translating, not very well) That really helped me shift away from my news addiction.
    Some people die from falling down the stairs at 35, sometimes three year olds drown in the shallow end of the pool because their parents didn't think it would be a problem... A few months ago I spent half the night wondering what would happen and what I could and should do if a neighbor would fall asleep with a burning cigarette and set everything on fire... Did it help? no. So the next day I made a list of things I should do - what to have ready in a my bag, how to grab the cat and put her in there, what I should grab with me if there's time (other than the cat and the bag) etc. Focus on what you can do and how you can help - even remotely. And talk to a doctor if you can - if you have a hotline for anxiety, specific to this or otherwise, use them. And keep using Dsrebee.

    https://darebee.com/hive/chat/666034...vid#post668706

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  • CaptainCanuck
    replied
    Strangely I find that if I hear something from word-of-mouth that I can almost be guaranteed to not believe it. I have heard a bunch of nonsense in the past week alone, including that over 70 people in my city have it (as of yet there is not a confirmed case where I live). Part of the problem is that those in power in the world have gradually seen the benefit in keeping the mass of populations uninformed and the best way to do this in the era of the information superhighway is to misinform them. That is why there are incrementally so many more people who believe in nonsense like anti-vax or flat earth, let alone ignoring stuff like global warming.

    All of this helps me to put away the computer when I want to be informed. I personally have two different youtube accounts, one which is full of my own personal interest stuff, and one which contains all the fitness channels that I subscribe to. I almost never look at my own personal one anymore, it is always too full of doom and gloom type of stuff. On the other hand I have never had a fitness influencer try to change my mind on something that I know to be true.

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  • Milkman 4 abs
    replied
    I'm genuinely sorry for what you are going through right now.

    That statement that you made about your partner being avoided on trains is absolutely sick. I hate that sort of stuff happening on a day to day basis.

    Colin mate, do what you have to do to be happy and content with yourself in these dark days. Don't lose hope and stay connected with your second family: DAREBEE.

    Hang in there Colin,
    Milkman

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  • Rainbow Dragon
    replied
    Wishing strength for you, Welsh Dragon.

    Some thoughts (please feel free to use or ignore, as suits you):

    For myself, I have some vices I am able to enjoy in moderation and others I am not. Currently there are several chocolate bars in my pantry. Yummy dark chocolate in all different flavours (raspberry, strawberry, orange, mint, black currant, cranberry, salted caramel, chili--pretty much every variety of Lindt dark chocolate "Excellence" bar that's ever appeared on the shelves in my local stores). These chocolate bars are stored carefully in a cool, dark, climate-controlled location because it will take me years to eat them all. I made a decision that I will eat no more than one square of chocolate per week, and I have had no difficulty in abiding by this decision. Potato chips, on the other hand... (and corn chips, popcorn, multigrain chips, powdered cheese-coated puffed corn monstrosities--basically that entire aisle of the grocery store) I seem to have no ability to eat in moderation. I have lost count of the number of times I have brought home a bag of chips on the promise to myself that it was my entire month's ration of salty snacks and then eaten the entire bag in one sitting. Eventually I came to the decision that if I wanted to limit the amount of potato (and other) chips I put into my body, I needed to stop eating them. Period. So I did. I have not put a single potato chip (or similar product) in my mouth in almost 5 months now. I cannot say that's been easy. But it is working for me. I don't remember if the Twitter platform is one you specifically need for your work. But if it isn't, if you could (theoretically) give up Twitter without giving up your livelihood, an absolute ban might work better for you than an attempt at moderation.

    Re: DAREBEE: I've been logging a number of different daily habits on the bottom of my workout log posts for a few months now. I find this practice provides me with significant assistance in achieving my goals. Some things I log as streaks (100 days in a row video-game-free! Whoo-hoo!). Other things I log as a ratio of the number of days of compliance to total number of days. The latter method I use for items on which I know the occasional miss is likely to be unavoidable. (Getting to bed on time 26 nights out of 30 is a whole lot better than never getting to bed on time, and logging the number of nights in a month in which I achieve my goal helps me to see that, whereas repeatedly having to zero my count every time I miss the mark would be demotivating.) All of my current log items are measured per day. But if you're in a situation where you're not likely to even make it through one day without Twitter at the moment, logging how many hours in a day you manage to stay away could be a viable way to start.

    Re: Covid-19: The situation is not as bad in my cell of the Hive as it is for you (or for most of the world) at this point. There have been only 2 cases identified in my county thus far, the level of social distancing recommended to prevent the spread of disease is scarcely different from my normal, pre-Covid-19, everyday life (I've not had so much as a common cold in years), and if I do contract Covid-19, I am almost certain to be one of the people who recovers without serious complications. Still, the pandemic has other ways of affecting me. The financial assets I was counting on to carry me through retirement are tanking, and the chance that I'll be able to start a profitable business of my own during the economic climate this virus will leave in its wake is extremely slim, as are the odds that I'll ever again be able to secure gainful employment working for someone else. Meanwhile, the situation which is currently keeping me off the streets (room and board in my parents' house, in exchange for the assistance I provide to my disabled father) will go away when he dies. My father is currently 79 years old; and because he requires assistance to get out of bed, use the toilet, bathe, get dressed, eat, brush his teeth, etc. he is unable to practise the social distancing measures which are being recommended to all of us. The way I deal with my fear that my father could become infected is to take what steps I can to help minimize the chance of that happening. There will always be exposure risks in my father's life which I cannot eliminate. But the more actions I take to change the things I can change, the more--well, I don't know that I would exactly call it "serenity", but certainly controlling what I can control gives my mind something to focus on other than my fear of what I cannot control. I hope you too will find some comfort in the positive steps you are taking to control what you can control in your own situation.



    P.S.: Meditation is helpful when you are able to do it. But trying to force oneself to do it when the mind is rebelling, I think can be self-defeating. There is a time for meditation, but also a time for crying, for shouting, for punching...

    Keep reaching out, Colin. I value your presence here as we all work together to hold space for our hopes and our fears.

    Leave a comment:


  • PetiteSheWolf
    replied
    Virtual hugs ... This timedefinitly makes it harder for controlling your screen time. Hope you find an efficient solution between information and social media overload. But you CAN do it. And we're all in this together.

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  • Colin
    started a topic Scared

    Scared

    The title says it all really, and this post is me venting about my fears as a result of the Covid 19 pandemic. The replies are all excellent advice and very helpful and really tell the story of this post. If you're not in the mood to read about fear then just skip this bit. If you want to read it, then hover.

    x

    That's about it really.

    I'm doing my best but struggling. I've got what I would characterize as an addiction to social media, and if you were going to invent the worst possible way to find out information during a genuinely threatening crisis then twitter would probably be the way. I think they'd have turned it off during WWII, and maybe ought to consider doing so now (along with parts of YouTube). We've been at home for a couple of days, and my partner and I had a row today over a viral (ha!) post on Facebook with a load of incorrect - but largely harmless - advice in it. People share that stuff in good faith; to create it in order to get personal or business exposure is just unconscionable.

    I have a pre-existing lung condition that puts me at risk of chest infections and I've got a sore throat. I don't think it's corona virus because I haven't had a cough or fever. My partner has had a cough for about a month, which we also don't think is coronavirus: she think's it's probably an infection related to a dental problem. We live in the UK and were both born here. My partner has Chinese heritage, and the average racist isn't fussy - long before things got really serious she said people were avoiding sitting next to her on trains. I'm terrified or this ramping up as things get worse.

    These are externalities, I know, and things that I largely can't control.

    I am doing my best. And that includes being engaged at Darebee. I'm trying to work out when I can. And... I don't know if I can meditate.

    I'm just spending so much time each day imagining my death and the deaths of those I love (all of which are innevitable, but none of which should be on the cards just yet!) that it's killing me: I think there's a fairly good chance, for example, that my sore throat, or at least the tightness in my chest, is psychosomatic and related to panic. There's also a fairly good chance that because of my pre-exisiting condition I will die if I catch corona virus.

    Thank you, it was useful to vent that.

    Maybe now I'll have a cry.

    I've tried to take some useful, practical steps today.

    I'm going to get to the end of a set of work and then take four days off. My clients - I'm a writer - will have to deal with it, I'm damaging myself badly.

    I've unsubscribed from a load of youtube politics channels I watch.

    And... I did a load of punches - thank you, Darebee! - and will do more later.

    Take care everyone. x
    Last edited by Colin; March 27, 2020, 01:57 PM.
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