Take My Advice: Cut Toxic People OUT of your Life

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    Take My Advice: Cut Toxic People OUT of your Life

    I had a really decent break-up with my Ex a month back. I'm personally surprised at how fast I've gotten over it, but there are a lot of variables to this.

    I messed up.
    I SHOULD NOT have gotten into a relationship right out/during mental therapy and using anxiety-lowering pills.
    I should not have let this go on for as long as it did.
    I should not have fallen into the mistakes that I made.

    But I did. I own up to my shortcomings and move on to become a better person.

    I'm grateful for it, but the personal things I gained out of it far outweigh the fact I thought I could love her. But that's not the point.

    I closed that door and moved on. I have fourth-year dentistry finals going on at the moment and those are all I can think about - and it turns out even though I'm respecting her in the way I'm NOT divulging info about the past to other - including my friendship circle (super tight) - she's going off behind my back and spouting nonsense.

    What I can't wrap my head around is the why - what does she gain out of it? Nothing - at all. I'm done with the relationship. I closed that door. After learning how toxic you can be, I stood back and turned away, literally telling you that I don't want you in my life anymore. What do you gain out of trying to make me jealous or making me out to be the evil one? Can't you just act like a decent human being and accept that life?

    Leave me alone already.

    #2
    ClaymoreBadguy I am really sorry you're going through that, though by the sound of it you're handling it OK. Your suggestion of cutting toxic people out is a sound one. I will add a little context here that may help you understand a little of your Ex's behavior. Although the break was decent, you got over it fast. To the other person that represents a rejection that impacts upon their sense of personal value, self-worth and identity. In short by demonizing you the way she is, she is making herself feel better about the break-up. In most case, irrespective of how hard you attempt to soften the message that things are not working out one of the two parties involved will react this way. In time she will process it and move on. In the meantime, understanding the context of her response hopefully allows you to see that you're not to blame in any way and you would have still got the same current mess regardless of how you broke up. Stay focused and keep on your journey. I hope this helps a little.

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      #3
      Damer Those are some sage words right there. I thank you for your time to help me see her perspective. I truly didn't see that side of it.

      I just am going through a phase of 'why does everyone around me find me to be evil' (a brief period of insecurity), and one of my soul sisters said it might be the fact I keep a candor-like attitude to everything I do. Might be the reason I deal with everything in a matter-of-fact and just be me without a filter unless its needed.

      Both your and her insight proved very, very useful for me. I just need to soften my approach with my candor and I might be able to keep doing what I'm doing and want to become - a person to lift others and radiate hope.

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