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Healthy body, healthy mind - my struggle to regain my mental health

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    Even that isn't a death sentence. If you think you have it, get diagnosed, although I take a diagnose as a 100% result. I was medicated for ADHD for some time because it was the easiest solution and doctors love easy solutions, imo, and ADHD is big business. I'd get a second opinion in either case.
    Personally, from your threads and what you tell, I'd guess you're addicted to instant gratification. In your place, I'd look for ways to deal with that until you know for sure that you have ADHD. Whatever strategies you find until then might help you in the long run, too.
    Either way, you either recognise that you have to change something and accept that it's going to be hard work, but you'll make that effort, or you roll over, accept defeat and tell yourself the game was rigged from the start. That's your choice, no one else can make it for you, and you have to make it at one point. You don't get younger and you still have a lot of dreams. Good dreams.


      Digital art is hard. I think I'll stick to pen and paper


        There is so much out there on how to manage ADHD. One of the books I have found most useful was called something like "Organising the ADHD child" (mine have varying degrees), and that book has so many sticky flags in it because it was full of useful suggestions. You seem to like reading self-improvement books. If you feel that you have ADHD (and it's hard to diagnose in an adult), then perhaps that's an area of self-improvement you might consider looking at. Either way, learning organisation and impulse control is a very valuable thing.

        Like lofivelcro I have exclaimed in frustration. It is very difficult to advise someone to curb their impulses without risking dampening their spirit, and that's the last thing anyone here wants to do. I love your enthusiasm! I love that you have so many interests. Last thing in the world I want to see is your losing that. But it would be lovely if you were able to find a more lasting love. Stick with the art. Start off small. I saw a very interesting YouTube video where a lady (a very accomplished artist indeed!) used both Crayola pencils and some hugely expensive pencils to make an excellent portrait, and there was little difference between the two - there was more shine with the Crayola pencils, but that was about it, you couldn't see where she had changed pencils. Her message was, don't blame cheap supplies; it's your skill that's the important thing. There's that axiom - the bad workman blames his tools. Learn the basics first. Use the cheap stuff and improve your skills so that the cheap stuff makes an excellent product.

        I have no idea what a graphics tablet actually does, but I do know that every time I get a new digital thing, even if it's just an app, there is that period of time required to learn how to use it properly. That time could just as well be spent practicing drawing an eye.


          Zenchan thank you. When I go on my phone I'll look at some of these.

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          Zenchan​​​​​​​ lofivelcro​​​​​​​ & TopNotch thanks for the suggestions. I will remember these suggestions and critiques. To that end, and a blunder on a professional level (I made a mistake at work that I shouldn't have) I have been thinking, and I'll think it over a bit more but I have binged a new anime (it's not new but I've not seen it b4), overlord and it, along with some self reflective talk with my mum and granny, has brought me to the conclusion that I lack some skills that are rather important: being able to properly convay my thoughts to words, any people skills (leadership, social and manipulative [the good kind]) and how to not show my true feelings (a poker face). In an attempt to be a better, more successful person I am going to study my books "how to talk to anyone" and "cues" to help my serious lack of people skills and buy some more books to develop the skills mentioned above and any relevant material mentioned in said books.

          I will need to think what I want, in terms of myself and how I go about it. Something I've noticed is when I read chapter 1 of "how to talk to anyone" I would write down the techniques and because of my slight perfectionism I did it over and over and now I remember all 9 of the "how to show you're a somebody" techniques. So I'll write down the techniques multiple time to sear them to memory as I have moved on to "small talk" techniques but do not remember them because I didn't drill them.

          Something I do remember is "improve your vocabulary" so it recommends learning other ways to say basic words. Practice is also needed so I may need to do some adventuring to local large towns or something to practice more.

          Now I won't be hasty but I may start a "general chat" thread OR a new "check in" to... no I'll not I'll stay here.

          I need a plan of action so time to devise one.

          Apologies for the wall of text but writing a plan out allows me to think outside of myself and see if it's a good idea.


            Writing turns things into plans. Otherwise they are just wishes.

            I don't think that showing your feelings is a necessarily bad thing. A poker face might be great when you're gambling, but when people are talking to you, it's a very boring thing to see. Rather than "avoiding" reactions, I'd suggest more "controlling" reactions. If someone says something funny, laugh; if something is horrible, grimace; if someone shows off their new hairdo which you think is awful but they think is wonderful - here's where you control! You smile nicely and say something like, it's certainly a different look for you. This is where tact comes in. Being an Aspie, tact is not my forte and it's something that I have had to work hard on and constantly remind myself about. People who react appropriately are nice to have and be around.

            Some people are leaders, some are followers, and some walk their own way. Ask yourself if you really need to develop leadership skills. Do you actually want to be a leader? Personally, I hated it. I was pretty good at it simply because I knew how I didn't like to be treated when I was further down the line so I tried to treat people the way I wanted to be treated. I think that's just a general rule that works well whatever you do. But I much preferred sitting in the corner with my own box of matches and being allowed to get on with things.

            It might be an idea not to look at what you don't have, but rather what you do need. Don't just buy more books. What can you do right now? Writing those things down, really drilling into the tiny little positives and abilities in your life, can be a real boost. Do it, perhaps, as though it's a job application. So you'll have things like
            - I am adaptable to change and willing to learn new skills
            - I have an enquiring mind and constantly seek new challenges
            You know, stuff like that. Those two were just the first that came to mind, but if I went carefully through your thread, I'm sure I'd find more, but you don't even need to do that because you know you. Then look at these attributes and see which ones need more focus, which can you polish, which is best to improve, and which one/s do you really like.

            I think that forcing yourself to become someone you're really not is a bad idea. It's not a way to be happy. Improve, learn, and change what has to change - but you really need to want that to happen. Personal change has to come from the inside, from a real desire to change. Just think of all those New Year Resolutions that never get kept. It's because people think they ought to do those things but inside they don't really want to. There was no drive. My dad wanted to stop smoking. He knew it was better for his health, but it just didn't happen. Then he had a heart attack. Amazing how quickly he stopped smoking then! Suddenly, he had a real incentive. Find your incentive to change.

            Lecture over!


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              I've decided to try a BJJ comp and so far I am not in a good place. I've only trained once since I came to this decision.
              I have not drawn in about a week but did a drawing tonight on my A4 cardstock and then got notified my new sketch book is gonna arrive tomorrow.

              I will attempt to train tomorrow in the advanced class and I'll practice beforehand with my new BJJ technique app while my brother is at wrestling (it'll serve as a warm up also).

              So I haven't said officially that I want to do this comp as I don't think my coach will put me in for it SO I am going to [somehow] go to as many classes as I can and practice as often as possible when not at class [which will be hard for multiple reasons].

              The comp registration is in July and is held in October so I need to get my shit together (I'm also not physically fit or healthy to last the full rounds so gotta work on that).


                My GM says that you are never ready for a comp (or anything else) until you have signed on that dotted line - in other words, until you have actually committed to doing it. That commitment provides incentive. Once you have incentive to do something, you tend to do it. If there is no commitment, then there is no incentive. Talk to your coach about it, see what he says, what you have to do to get ready for the comp. Maybe there is something he can do/recommend that will get you ready. Maybe you're right and at this moment, you wouldn't get into the comp; maybe you're wrong and with enough training between now and then, you would. Find out what your coach reckons. And if you love BJJ, no matter what your coach says, train hard!


                  So a few things before I start, I tried digital art and I don't like it. I have stopped BJJ and going to the gym as I've a pain in my knee and elbow BUT I will still be exercising. I might see if I can do the weapon training and (because I'm a weeb) I'll see about a cosplay sword because a realistic one is a hassle.

                  Now today I was doing some research (blending pencil specifically) and I tried it but it looks terrible and then I thought about my pens (because I was researching the difference between colour pencil & watercolour pencil). My pens are watercolour and I wanted to try them again so I did a drawing and now I don't want to ruin the piece as it's my best yet:
                  Original (from google, on my IPad)
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                  My hand drawn copy
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                  What do you think?


                    Although it's not bad for a first copy, there's a lot off in your drawing. The eyes are skewed, the symmetry is off, the arms are too fat, for a lack of better word. How are you copying? Just line by line? Are you trying to draw what you think should be an arm? Or the actual shape? Where are you starting?
                    A much practised "trick" to copy drawings or pictures is to turn the original on its head. So that the concepts of what you see, as in "this is an eye, this is a nose" are harder to grasp and you start focusing more on the lines and shapes.
                    Or you try to break the image up into circles, rectangles, triangles... and go from there.
                    Or get some transparent foil, draw a raster on it, put it over the image you want to copy and copy square by square. Another old trick.
                    And finally, practising will make you better. Study the original, study your own copy, and see where you can improve yourself.

                    Also, here's a crisper image with clearer lines:
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                      Thanks lofivelcro this will be helpful.

                      I was just looking at the image and transferring it by memory. I am aware it has many flaws, I even think it looks kinda bad but the last time I tried this style of drawing I was ~12 years old and drew a super battle droid from star wars battlefront 2 (PS2).

                      I will probably aim to get good at this type of drawing (looking at an image and copying it). I coloured the image in and it looks 5% better but as I can't shade for shit and was experimenting with my markers so it looks nothing like the image's colours.

                      I was looking for alcohol markers as that is what manga artists recommend (I found some but they're pricey) and thicker paper (for obvious reasons - liquid and paper don't mix). I will be drawing more Genshin characters but I'll me mixing the theme (some as the game has them and a few "interesting fan images").

                      Zenchan yeah BJJ is a great sport but to be 100% honest... I wouldn't have done it except my brother kept me going but I would rather have got into kendo but the only dojo is too far away.

                      I just learned that "tattoo markers" exist and think that I might get some in the future.

                      Why am I drawing Genshin impact characters? I decided that I'd try to draw/write a Genshin fan comic in the future. I still need character images that show the full body and some of the local cities and countryside in the game but that's my plan.


                        You should have a look through pixiv, then. Many artists, especially from Japan, China and Korea are active on pixiv. There's probably a lot of fanart to browse through there.


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ID:	855754I was up early today (0630) and decided I wanted to draw so I drew this, it has some proportions that are not the same as the image but it's mainly the dress details. The drawing is A3 size and I copied the image from my tablet.

                          I decided that I will keep an "art portfolio" and hopefully someday I can do something with this skill, till then I'll practice but I only really have Genshin images so must look for a few others from anime like SAO and Shield hero.

                          Tonight I went to the gym and when I got home my knees were sore but I'm going to get back into skipping rope, I want to be able to show off a bit and relearn my old tricks (not that I could do much).


                            Knock yourself out:

                            And I'm still interested in how you copy the images.
                            You have a tendency to either ignore long posts trying to help you, or not to answer questions that are aimed to help you. I know this is only the internet and I don't know how you conduct yourself in real life, but one big chunk of conversational skills is showing some interest in your conversational partner. A few people in this thread are trying to help you, sometimes writing long posts and spending time thinking about your problems and typing their advice out, and often enough, there doesn't even come a hint of acknowledgement back. You seem to be a nice guy and I certainly don't need or want long tirades of gratefulness, but a short notice that you've at least noticed a post of someone, maybe answering a question that was asked would go a long way. You wrote you want to practise your conversation skills in a thread, maybe in this, so that would be a good start.


                              lofivelcro so for the image copying, I look at the image and trace it with my eyes. Then I draw it on the page with my hand and eye moving at the same time. Like I mentally snapshot the section of the image and then "see" it on the paper.

                              As for the long texts being ignored (not ignored but not being responded to). My tagging has been not working for a while and I just got lazy at tagging folk. Also, and this is entirely my fault, but I can't understand so people's words, my vocabulary is not that broad and I don't understand some words.

                              I will endeavour to tag back when I ask for advice.


                                Try turning the image you want to copy on its head. See how that works for you.

                                I've never thought you ignore the texts, far from it, and I'm reasonably sure other's don't think so, too. If tagging doesn't work, you can always just write the name in plain text, that's already enough.
                                If you don't understand something, that's no big deal, either. If it doesn't keep you from understanding the gist of what's being typed, don't worry. But if that's the case and you're interested, don't hesitate to ask. Asking if something is not clear is an incredibly underrated skill. People are afraid that they embarrass themselves or are labelled as stupid, but imo, it's always better to ask. You can only profit from it.