I had a nice break. We stayed in a caravan (mobile home) in North Yorkshire. We had booked it to go to a wedding in May 2020, but that was cancelled and initially delayed until May 2021, and had then to be delayed again until 2022. We delayed our bookings but were able to travel this time. It all seemed very safe. We even used the swimming pool - alone - so I had my first swim for well over a year. I also went for a trail run of sorts and we did a long walk on the one day of good weather.
We had a lovely time. Most importantly I had an internet break.
I'm reading the Lindo Bacon book that sleep_twitch recommended and finding quite profound agreement with it (which is odd in some ways that I may explain later) and also finding it challenging. I feel more hopeful as a result.
Back on some sort of planned exercising this evening I hope.
I have had a nice rest. I need to keep myself a bit safer now that I'm back. I continue to work on things.
Last night I did:
And Days 12 and 13 of Express Tone, as Day 12 was a relatively easy one.
I still have lots of things I'd like to add. I'm not running as regularly as I would like to. And I started a meditation adventure (I deliberately didn't choose the term "challenge" as this makes it too easy for me to see myself as failing and to stop if I miss a day (which is what happened in any case!).
Bad day yesterday. I did not exercise at all really.
However, I got up early and did a 3km run this morning so I am starting a better way.
I'm still working out how to do all this. It seems if I set too many challenges or restrictive practices then I struggle to not quit if I have any difficulties. I'm bad at judging how I'm doing, but quite good at over-examining how I feel.
I like some of the self-care things I have seen on here: meditation, gratitudes, hugs, breathing... and feel I could do well with them, yet still feel so trapped in addictive/compulsive coping behaviours, from which I really need to escape.
As ever - and like everyone - I am a contradiction!
Comment