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Colin 2019

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    Beautiful spring pictures

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      Thank you, sleep_twitch
      CODawn
      Mianevem and
      DorothyMH

      At the bottom of this post is my meditation spot from Friday. I think it might be my favourite place, a beach called Kenfig that has an enormous sand dunes complex behind it that's a nature reserve packed with flowers and birds. I even like the fact that you can see Port Talbot steel works from the beach - an iconic Welsh industrial location and reportedly the inspiration for the aesthetic of Blade Runner.

      I've carried along OK. Today I completed Day 7 of the Meditation Adventure successfully. I walked on Saturday and took a rest day from Express Tone as doubling up a strength workout with that was a bit much the day before. I'm back on doubling up today.

      On we go. . . Thank you again, Bees.

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        Awesome spot

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          Wonderful

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            Omg this place looks lovely! I hope you enjoyed your meditation. You're doing so well! (:

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              That looks great! 😊

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                Thank you so much, Nancy, motionaction (and nice to meet you!), TheLibrarian, and Gandhalfit!

                I had a nice day yesterday. We rigged up our TV in the garden so a friend could come over and watch Leeds v Manchester United in the afternoon (all done very carefully, with masks in the house, hand sanitizing, and so on).

                I compeleted the frist week of the Meditation Adventure, and last night I did:

                Express Tone Day 4 and Day 5. Day 4 was a light day (leg stretches) so I doubled up and did Day 5 - arms.

                And:



                I really enjoyed it and felt full of energy.

                A causal-training/rest day today.

                We need some rain here for our seedlings!

                Have lovely days, Bees. Thank you again. x

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                  That looks like an awesome meditation spot❤

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                    Thanks for the tree and meditation spot pictures, lovely!

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                      Thank you Dawn and Annie! We're very lucky that we can drive there in about an hour and the beach is normally very quiet.

                      A good day yesterday. Casual training. I walked - I seem to have re-embedded walking into my routine, which is good - and did Day 6 (a leg day) of Express Tone.

                      I did my first 10 minute meditation.

                      Today I'm due a HIIT workout.

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                        Catching up a bit.

                        First of all, I did this the other day (thanks to seeing it on Matan's thread). I'd like to include it regularly in what passes for my "routine" as I'm very aware that I sit down too much and often with not great posture.

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                          Tuesday was:

                          Express Tone Day 7 - an arm day, and my HIIT choice:



                          Again, doing a Level 4 difficulty workout means I can only do three sets of it.

                          When I buy clothes I find I am stuck somewhere between medium and large, and, for the moment when I do Darebee workouts I find I am somewhere between Level III and Level IV. That is to say that I can do Level III workouts and feel I have quite a lot left in me after doing VII sets, but if I do Level IV then I am struggling to complete it at the lowest level (usually).

                          I suppose this is progress. I'll continue on without having much of a system to how I do so!

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                            A cooking aside.

                            I made this, and was impressed enough to want to show off. A nice vegetarian dish. I made the Home Style stir-fry version and it's really great and very easy (a couple of slightly obscure ingredients but they always describe substitutes). It's a great channel and interesting even if you don't make any of the recipes. Sadly, there aren't that many vegetarian recipes and almost no vegan ones.



                            Just for information, I've found some nice vegan Chinese and East Asian food on:

                            East Meets Kitchen

                            And

                            Mary's Test Kitchen

                            Among other places. Both of those tend to be quite "technical" and often make vegan versions of recipes with meat in them, so create "replacements".

                            They're nice channels though.

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                              Last night I did:

                              Express Tone Day 8 - leg raises, and a strength workout:



                              Again, I stopped after just three sets, because, well, just because. This was a Level III workout and I could have continued, but...

                              Well that's it.

                              I am in quite a bad place with my mood at the moment and with various compulsive/addictive behaviours (maybe coping mechanisms).

                              I remain very lucky, and far far better off than when I was a full-blown addict. I think it's also worth noting the whole Global Pandemic, which is a strain for everyone.

                              I'm quite clear on what I need to do but I'm struggling to break out of these routines and cycles. It's really so predictable and tied to internet use, my work (alienating (hello Marxists!), stressful, boring, socially useless), and a sort of inertia that sits inside me that's probably related to anxiety - stay still and stay quiet and you stay safe.

                              This isn't a cry for help or anything. It's more a signal to myself. The interest in vagal theory - thank you GF and Nancy for excellent advice on that - is part of the search for One Single Answer, although I am aware that no such answer really exists.

                              In a lot of ways things are going fine. My material conditions (hello again Marxists!) are really fine. And my coping behaviours (compulsive internet use - dozens of tabs open in two browsers at once) are much less harmful than my old ones in some ways: I used to drink all day, get stoned all night, more recently (I've never really talked about this) I would self-harm by scalding myself. I don't do those things any more.

                              So I am moving in the right direction, but I feel stuck and I'm rather flailing about for something to unstick me. There's an element of mid-life crisis to this too. I am older but don't feel wiser, don't feel adult or in control much of the time, I think about death a lot.

                              I do know I'm doing a number of the right things, I'm just hoping to do more and to do fewer of the bad things. I meditated this morning and went for a 3k run, which I'd completely forgotten about in my melancholy reverie.

                              (One of the things I would like to do is have a blog. That would make my posts shorter!)

                              These are notes to myself, but I feel I need a change in some way, and I may start a new thread.

                              On we go lovely bees. x

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                                Hugs and encouragements on your pursuit to bettering yourself,one behavior at a time, one day at a time. Persevere, my friend.

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