Colin 2019

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    Your coffee grounds things cracked me up!


      Thanks for sharing Dawn Foster's writing! It was very interesting to read it as I don't personally know anyone living with epilepsy, so this was the first time I read such a detailed description of what it is like to experience the symptoms. It's sad that she died so young though -- she was my sister's age!


        Thank you, Dawn!

        No problem, Mianevem, I'm glad you find it interesting - a lot of her work was published by Jacobin, but she was also in the Guardian (before she was basically sacked for upsetting a politician!).

        I'm struggling with the heat, not sleeping, neighbourhood noise, mental health struggles, and tooth complications this week and have largely taken a week off from workouts.

        I have done my Tuesday taijiquan and qi gong class and we managed a swim in the sea on Sunday - not a very successful trip - and last night, a very lovely time.

        In a trough, but working on getting out of it.

        Keep going, Bees!


          Politicians, such sensitive creatures!

          I’m sorry you’re having troubles. None of it is fun. Hope things start improving soon!


            Hang in there, Colin! You'll find your way out of that trough!


              I like the mental picture of being in a trough. It implies the next place will be on top of a wave


                I'm sorry to hear you had such a rough's to better times


                  Thanks Dawn, Dorothy, Whirly, and Lizard Friend!

                  It's all still a struggle really.

                  But I'm still here. I've done my taiji this week and we went sea swimming the other night - in a storm.

                  I'm just jumping back into my schedule where it falls now, so:

                  Yesterday: Strength. I did Al Kavadlo's beginner's lock-down workout:

                  I did a slightly modded version and did three rounds, ending with:

                  30 plank walk-outs with push-up, 30 without.

                  60 side-to-side squats.

                  60 one-leg bridges.

                  60 hollow-body knee tucks.

                  15 Australian push ups.

                  And, this morning was a short run (<3k) and swimming. I did 15 lengths, and I now know the pool is 25 metres, so 375 metres. A lot more than I thought.

                  As to the rest of it. I just keep going I suppose. Keep moving.

                  Thank you, Bees. x Good to be back, of course. x


                    On Friday night our new neighbours had a party,

                    UNTIL 6AM.

                    Unbelievable. My partner went round twice to ask them to turn music down and they did, but we still had banging dance music playing until dawn.

                    I was surprised and pleased that I managed my taiji class on Saturday morning. We went out on Sunday and did quite a lot of walking.

                    This morning I did this:

                    Which is very tough, so a couple of modifications on push-ups. I was really pleased to complete it! This is the channel whose 90-day challenge I have been doing. Sadly, they seem to have stopped uploading before the next stage of that challenge went up - I hope they are OK! They are in Canada. So, I've had a break of a couple of weeks apart from taiji.

                    My life at the moment really feels like a disaster area to be honest. Having a party till 6am is obviously terrible behaviour, but otherwise, there's nothing much that the neighbours have actually done to cause distress or show hostility or anything and the party was obviously a special occasion thing with people travelling to come to it. The vast majority of this is inside me, some of it is - to be frank - snobbery, based around the "sort of people" they are; some of it is a sort of retriggering of previous traumas from bad neighbours (when we first moved here the house next door was firebombed in some dispute! Our previous troublesome neighbours were really kind of damaged people and very hard to interact with (burning furniture in the back yard, for example, small kids running, screaming round the house till the early hours). There have also been other disruptive people and families on the street and the upshot is I've ended up feeling unsafe a lot of the time.

                    Some of this is a reasonable reaction to the surrounding environment. A lot of it is not, and can be classifed as some sort of anxiety disorder I think. I work from home, freelance, online all the time, doing work I hate - and actually feel bad about doing. If my partner weren't here to push me I often wouldn't leave the house for days at a time. I cope with the anxiety and sadness with various addictive/coping behaviours that usually involve creating a very small, controllable world - my seat, my screen, twitter, for example... - but while these do give me a narrow focus that allows me to tune out the outside world for a while they come with their own costs, most notably sadness, anger and despair from obsessively following certain areas of twitter (even when I don't have an account, as I don't now) that make me so unhopeful about the world.

                    A couple of times I have seen people describe ADHD and I think it's possible I have this. I don't know what to do about it though.

                    I've just emailed my client to tell him I need to take a break for illness. I have done so little work lately that it's a joke - though not awfully funny. That feels a weight off me. We're going away to a wedding for a couple of days. And we've started to look for somewhere else to live.

                    I'm going out on my bike this afternoon, just to get out of the house.

                    This is a bit of a getting-it-off-my-chest rant. I've no doubt I'll be feeling better soon and this is a distillation of ALL the bad things in the worst possible light.

                    On we go. x


                      Hang in there



                          A party until 6am, wow that sounds horrible If they only did it once and won't do it again, I guess you could let slide and forget about it but I'm pretty sure you have noise restricting laws, even on a Friday night?
                          Well done for pushing through though.


                            on we go.


                              Take care! And good shot, going for a bike ride, hope you'll feel better soon


                                Ugh, partying until 6 am is not exactly the best way to make themselves accepted by their new neighbours...