Colin 2019

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    We all have our own contradictions, more or less glaring, so it's just good to be self-aware, Colin . And you're doing good learning about yourself and keeping + taking control, one step at a time, remember that.


      Originally posted by PetiteSheWolf View Post
      We all have our own contradictions, more or less glaring, so it's just good to be self-aware, Colin . And you're doing good learning about yourself and keeping + taking control, one step at a time, remember that.
      I couldn't have said it better myself!!!


        Thank you, PSW, and Dawn.


        I had a decent weekend.

        Friday was a rest day and I did a long walk.





          Catching up properly.

          Thank you, PetiteSheWolf and CODawn - much appreciated as ever!

          I will continue to move in some direction or another - hopefully forward!


          Level II for this one.

          Also One and One, which I can't tag.

          I did some Australian push-ups too.

          And Express Tone now on Day 18, which is today, along with a combat workout.

          I did a 5km run on Sunday - in the rain!

          I also meditated on Sunday.

          Take care everyone. x


            Hey music! I keep forgetting and Gentle Ox reminded me of Smashing Pumpkins and I can never get anough of this song.


              Ha...we got caught in the rain during our walk yesterday. Unfortunately, it started raining too hard and we had to cut it short/


                I run in the rain deliberately, Dawn! I love it and waited until I thought it was going to rain to go out.

                Not a good day yesterday.

                Just this at level 1:

                Can't even find it. . .

                We have new neighbours moving in so I'm having a nervous breakdown basically. Yes, that's about it. Silly. Not nice. Not proportional. Not admirable. Not a good thing.

                Trying to get through it.

                I really dislike myself sometime. I hope I'll work out tonight. x


                  Good luck with the neighbors, I completely understand your fears.
                  Last edited by Gandhalfit; May 20, 2021, 12:31 PM. Reason: Type-os


                    When our next door neighbor put his house up for sale, it was what we were dreading since we moved in. The woman who bought his house turned out to be fine. I am hoping your new neighbors turn out to be fine also.



                        I’m glad I’m not the only one with those sorts of anxieties. I was thinking it was irrational when I dreaded a “neighbor change.” But, seeing that it’s not unusual is comforting…I think Hope it turns out fine for you, Colin!


                          Well, it really is aweful if you have problems with neighbours, and with new ones it's always uncertain if it'll be alright. So I get it that you're nervous.
                          Did you meet them already?


                            Colin, don't dislike yourself for the way you act or re-act. Sometimes my children are really horrible - I mean REALLY! But I still love them. It has been hard, but I have been focussing on seeing the behaviour as separate from them. I dislike the behaviour, but I still love them. So always love yourself, but dislike the way you behave. A reaction is easier to change.


                              Sending love and hugs Colin.


                                Thank you, Mamatigerj, thank you TopNotch (that is very good advice I will try to take it onboard), thank you NancyTree, thank you DorothyMH, thank you CODawn, thank you @Gandhalfit.

                                You are all very kind and it is very helfpul to have people to share this with - and get such kind responses.

                                The neighbours are fine.

                                My partner went away for her work over the weekend and I got into a repeating pattern of mine where I hit a sort of rock bottom with compulsive behaviours and pull myself out of it. I hope I stay out of it this time. I've done more to address my blocking on the computer, I did some positive things and found some positive media with some good advice that I'm trying to take.

                                I didn't do much exercise over the weekend. Just walking, which is actually a good sign that my rock bottoms aren't so low any more - I used to be unable to leave the house for long periods, and of course I now longer use any drugs.

                                Yesterday I set up some new accountability things for myself and took on a 90-day challenge that includes this fitness challenge:

                                So I did that last night.

                                The DD with EC - hand clenches during the day. I mediatated. And I'm doing something like a daily gratitude thing as well, which I did last night.

                                This morning I did a 5km run. The weather is beautiful this morning - all the birds are singing.

                                I couldn't do this, I don't think, without the support and friendship of Darebee, and I am always grateful for you all.

                                Have wonderful days. x

                                On we go.

                                Music, inspired by Gentle Ox's synthwave track, one of my favourite artists covering one of my favourite songs: