There ain´t no rest for the wicked

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    So sorry about your cat

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        I'm so sorry about your cat...

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          Our 18 year old grandpa cat passed away on Thursday, two days after your cat - I thought of you on the weekend.

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            Urrggh. This is really getting old. Yes, I´m back. Yes, I hope this time longer. Yes, I know I said that the last few times. Yadda yadda yadda.

            I kinda kept going with my workouts and lost 4 kg since I last postet. Small success. The death of my cat sent me to some bad emotional places.


            Weather is crazy around here. Last week we had really hot and sunny days so I actually got sunburnt, today we had two small snowstorms. In the last three hours. And everytime the snow melted away before the next storm.

            I got up at 6am and took a long walk (ca 3km), then I did 5 sets of Stay Sane before lunch. I plan another walk later today, if the weather stabilizes.

            And now for something completely different. A man with two noses.

            All kidding aside. To do something about my loneliness I started something that I never thought possible. Online Dating. I was never really a fan of digital things, especially dating. I always tried to meet people face to face, preferably in a bar, because booze helps. Especially me, because I´m really, really shy when I´m sober. Now I sit in front of my computer and can´t even write one single message. Thank you, courage and desperation, for putting me in this mess.

            Part II

            Second walk done, same route, different direction. Decided to brace the storm and walk against the wind. A truly marvellous experience. There´s nothing better than walking straight into a snowstorm in nothing but a thin hoodie and a jeans vest. And I´m being serious.

            Just did my second workout for today. Yes, you heard right. Second. "Better Than Nothing", 7 sets, 30 seconds rest inbetween. And I´m still full of energy. Which is something that has never happened before. I do not have energy. Never. For anything! I´m a mostly stationary being. I like to sit in my armchair and read or play a videogame or watch TV/Netflix. This is weird. Maybe I´ll go for a third walk! Who knows?

            Oooh. I actually managed to write a message in my online dating thingy. Maybe there´s a connection to my unusual energy. I did my walk right after I finished writing my message and started my workout after a friend corrected my orthography and I sent the message. More or less. There were a lot of interruptions until I could finally start working out.

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              Legolo , Grats on maximizing on the energy and losing the 4kg and writing/sending the message. I hope it works out. Walking through wind and snow makes you feel powerful, doesn't it?

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                Brontus Thanks! And yes, it really does. Sadly (or luckily) we don´t really get much snow around here.

                Part III

                This is ridiculous. I actually went for a third walk. And not only that, I actually jogged some parts of it. Not for long, because jogging in worn out street shoes is hell on the shinbones, but still. I have never felt that way before! Okay, I did, but that was back when I was still taking speed, so that doesn´t count. If this keeps up I might actually have a chance on getting rid of all that fat! Which would be great because I really don´t like my body. I´ve got a feeling I´ll either won´t sleep at all this night or sleep like a rock.

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                  I regret everything!! Pain. Everything hurts. I can barely move. Note to self: Even when you have more than enough energy, don´t overdo it.
                  Work sucked tremendously today, especially the weather. Really windy and every 10 minutes the weather decided to try something new. Anything between heavy snowfall, torrential downpour, hailstorms and burning sunshine. Our client was great though. He´s our companys driving instructor and as it turns out, I know the guy. He was the one who scraped me off the asphalt 5 or 6 years ago when that A-hole from the Red Cross ran me over and fled the scene.
                  Also I don´t remember sleeping last night, even though I went to bed at 9:30.

                  Since my legs barely work I decided to do a workout for the upper body today. I feel if I´d even try any kind of Jack my legs would simply fall off

                  Tempered Steel, 3 sets, 2 minutes rest. This is not a friendly workout. Pulled myself through 3 sets and really needed the 2 minutes rest. Every time this jävla W-extensions came my arms refused working. Damned traitors!
                  I´ll still try to do my walk later, if the weather is somewhat stable. I do not need a recap of todays weather when my only weatherproof clothes are still drying... And no, I don´t own any other jackety things than my hoodie and a fairly tattered synth-leather jacket. I don´t really wear things with sleeves...

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                    Yesterday: Refresh Workout. Walking 7km during work.

                    Today: Too tired to do anything. Our boss fired our most competent green gardener (you know, trimming hedges, caring for trees, that kind of stuff, as opposed to us grey conrete gardeners) after twelve years of personal disagreements so we have to pick up the slack. We tried doing that he last few days and it does not work. That guy was a walking encyclopedia for plants, while most of us can barely distinguish a maple from an oak... Because when you don´t work with plants you forget everything about them. And to top that we were already reeeeeeally understaffed, because our boss just keeps taking on new orders, even though we still have like 20 sites left to finish. I don´t even think I´m exaggerating... And we just never finish one! We start a construction site, until another customer complains, then we work there until another one complains and so on. I can´t even remember the last time we had a customer who didn´t complain to us about how useless and disorganized our office staff is.

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                      I finally figured out why I can´t seem to stick with this. The imaginary pressure of having to do something every day. As I recently discovered I can not deal with any kind of pressure. At all. I nearly botched my chainsaw exam twice because I had to pass, I can´t drive any car other than my own because I must not have an accident, I haven´t written any daily work reports since mid November! And those are necessary to pass my apprenticeship... I think you can see the pattern here.

                      Because of that I simplyfied my system. If I don´t feel I did enough at work, I have to work out or take a long walk. I downloaded a step tracking app, that has been pretty helpful. I try to reach at least 50000 steps a week. Problem is that shoveling all day does not count as steps for that app, so I "developed" my somewhat flexible system. And I have had smashing results. 2 kg in two weeks. And I have finally developed some stamina. It used to be that I couldn´t take some few hundred steps without being out of breath. Friday I took a walk. 7km in one go. And I didn´t even notice. I just kept walking and walking and walking. Luckily my new phone does barely use any energy, I can´t do anything without music Downside, my pants are somewhat tight because I bought them when I wasn´t as fat, so my legs are somewhat chafed. I think that´s the right word. I take my walks almost daily now. It´s better than sitting around and watching Netflix.

                      Anyway, I´ll still try to pop in at least once a week to keep you all updated

                      Online dating is going absolutely terrible. They read my messages but don´t answer. I know I should be patient, but I hate people who don´t answer. A few days is completely reasonable, but two weeks? That´s just rude. Especially since I can see when they were last online... I remember why I´ve been alone for 7 years. Rejection really hurts. And makes you feel like shit. And it realy doesn´t help that I have absolutely no feeling of selfworth at all. I actually don´t have any clues why I haven´t descended into my usual behavior of booze-fueled denial.

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                        I´m still there!

                        Summer is coming, which means working sucks even more now because it´s so friggin hot outside. One more year until my training is finally finished That´s the one thing that gets me out of bed every morning. Just one more year and I´ll never have to work at that company again. If the company lasts that long. Our best workers are abandoning ship faster than you can count. We´re down to 4 trained workers, 3 trainees and one helper. Luckily that won´t be my problem anymore soon. Or rather soonish. It´s still a year until my final exam.

                        I still do my walks almost everyday although I had to adjust my route. My usual route didn´t do it anymore so now I have a new one that´s roughly twice as long. If I can get motivated enough I might even start doing real workouts again. I´ll probably do one later after my second walk.

                        Stay healthy and take care, guys!

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                          Here are four words I never thought I´d use in one sentence. Work was fun today. As of today I`m in our "Team Regress". Bit of background: while most of our contracts have no completion date, they all have a fixed starting day and since our management is abyssmal, we rarely finish one contract before starting another one. So that´s where Team Regress comes in. My colleague and me get out and finish the stuff the others didn´t. That´s something I actually like. Mostly because of my colleague. While the others check in on me every 5 minutes and annoy me with stupid quips, he simply gives me a job and goes off to do something else. I can work in peace, if I have questions I can ask him without "figure that out yourself, you´re second year in training" as an answer. And we get tips, because we finally finish stuff. 20 bucks in one day. That´s half a day of regular pay

                          Because it´s really hot and I´m pretty beat I decided to do a light workout. Also to come back into things, since I didn´t do any real workouts for some time. Nomad, 4 sets, 60 seconds rest. I tried 5 sets, but my legs didn´t get up for the march steps anymore. I´m sweating like a pig, so off into the shower I go.

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