Grockette's Transformation

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    210426 Mon
    Focus on Fitness 2/7
    + VibraMa 5m, 5m
    + Vitality d2
    + WBB - easy feet, easy knees, easy hips
    + Steps - 2/7 (going outside now to get that accomplished before bed)


      210427 Tue
      Focus on Fitness: 3/7
      + VibraMa 5m
      + Vitality d3
      - WBB 0 (apparently each day I can choose only one of the following, at the expense of the others: study, learn new movements/exercises, or work on house/yard.) Today was a study day, and I’m going to bed with way more questions than answers.
      + Steps 3/7


        210428 Wed
        Focus on Fitness 4/7
        + Vitality d4 lvl 1
        + Foraging: intermittent yardwork done specifically to help mimic grockette's foraging skills. Bribe: after each exercise circuit or area of yard worked on, then I could have one dark chocolate chip.
        + Steps 4/7

        This morning I woke up with glucose levels under 100mg/dL (96). I was so excited to see that, since last night's bedtime's was 98. Though today is a carb-ish day, so I don't expect tonight's to be very good. At least it's headed in the right direction overall.


          I'm still alive. The focus of my limited energies has been redirected towards a massive dietary overhaul to help a struggling liver and reduce insulin resistance. This overhaul includes having to learn how to cook. And since I absolutely hate following recipes, I’m trying to organize old notes regarding dish 'formulas'/templates so I can mix and match with ingredients I have or are seasonal. And, since my mental energy is limited to one focus per day, I haven't had the oomph to progress in the whole body biomechanics program, though I still do some of the movements and adjustments I’ve learned (minus ones that require me to lay down to do them).

          As for other fitness efforts, I alternate between (in order of priority) weeding, cleaning, and doing a cycle of DareBee's Vitality program....depending on how much energy/will power I have in the morning. I've been so exhausted that I haven't even been doing my beloved walks, and rarely walk the dogs now.

          On the progress side of things, my blood sugars have been dropping, though still averaging in the low prediabetic range. The Dawn Phenomenon isn't nearly as extreme. My pantry is cleaner after giving away about 95% of the carby items. My dish prep knowledge/skills is slowly but surely has our willingness to try new foods. Vegetables and unsweetened items are definitely tasting sweeter. I’m having fewer liver pangs now (it started building up and more often after chemo ended). And my heart rate variability is had bottomed out for about three weeks straight, and is now showing signs of having recovered from some kind of stress. Oh, and I can stand on the rock mats now with only discomfort rather than pain, and can tolerate being barefoot on my deck now (though I worry about getting splinters).


          This morning I read the discussion in the Darebee Forum about Attitude. I've been thinking about what emotions or pressures are helping me do some things, and not do others. For example, the dietary change is easier this time due to the fear over recovering some from any liver damage/stress...but when it was just focused on losing weight, it wasn't enough to keep me going. Now there is a sense of immediacy I didn't have before. But it's also being helped along by little successes in terms of finding a meal prep path that is so far working for me. I'm not aiming for perfection and absolutes, and ignoring the rules others want to lay on me (ex keto/IF “purists”), and the little wins as an tackle one new thing at a time is helping me feel as if I'm starting to get somewhere. And so a beneficial feedback loop is beginning.

          Similar with my housecleaning. I finally found a program that is working with whatever energy/focus level I have, and I'm not feeling quite as frustrated with my home as before. My home is still nowhere near where I would find acceptable, but as long as the dishes are cleaned, the floors are swept, and there's no overtly nasty areas, I'm feeling more tolerant about it. Also probably because I’m feeling stronger pressures for the dietary changes, heh.

          I’m also trying to figure out how the Attitude conversation relates to my fitness efforts. I don't have an answer yet. I'm not really sure yet what the question should even be. Cognitively I have goals and aims in mind of what I would like in my life. I've tried developing habits towards those goals. But I think I lack a sense of internal pressure building up that forces me to take physical action towards resolving it. Or maybe it's just not as strong and so other pressures more easily take priority. So maybe the question is something like ‘how do I get myself to FEEL the NEED to [do a fitness related activity]?’ The only one I know of now is the desire to Play/Experiment as the mood/opportunity hits.

          Anyways, hope ya'll are safe and happy.


            Hang in there, you! You’re getting there. It takes time (lots of it) to recover physically and mentally/emotionally from what you’ve been through. You’ll do it though. It’s good to read your thoughts and progress occasionally, too. Gives us all hope for a better day.


              Community Yard Sale today. I walked 19,857 steps in 4 hrs.
              We each had a shoulder bag to carry any finds in. Thankfully the heavy stuff was found at the end!!
              After all that, we finally had breakfast....and shared a Ben&Jerry’s.
              My feet hurt for most of the day. I did NOT want to move again, lol.
              Going to bed with 20,544+ steps today.


                210617 Thu
                TLDR: I'm being much more active, in a playful and spontaneous way. I'm very much liking my 'diet' and the results I'm getting. I'm feeling good these days.

                I had my 3 month end-of-chemo anniversary a couple of days ago.Had another fright before then, but after enduring some bone pain for almost a month, with it getting worse and lasting longer to the point of all day…the day after I called to have it checked…it disappeared completely. I waited about a week to make sure the pain was gone before canceling the dr appt.

                Further good news: I’m now down 15 lbs from end of chemo weight. It would be a little more except it took me 4 days to recover from a take out meal that totally wasn't worth that delay!! I love my 'diet'. It's simple to adapt meals to, simple to cook/prep for, I don't feel deprived, and I can eat whenever I want without feeling constant hunger or having to check the time. I'm also able to eat seasonally available foods, and have easily reduced my packaging. Basically, this 'diet' is sustainable and adaptable. And since I’m now “fat-adapted” (body is using body fat for much of its energy), I don,t have to check my blood sugars anymore. Wins all around!

                Fitness-wise, I'm more active than normal, despite not doing much walking. I do micro-trainings throughout the day. Which basically comes down to asking myself “what do I want my body to get better at doing” and then providing the stimulus. For example, I want to be able to get off the floor easier. So I’ll spend time getting down to the floor and back up. Or I want my wrists to be able to handle more weight on them for pushing activities…so I do wall or counter ‘pushups' changing the angles my wrists are at according to how they feel. Or I want to get better at being able to hang off the pull-up bar…so I play around with the pull-up bar. I ask myself that question whenever I'm feeling bored or need a break from studying.

                I also have a balance board with a variety of bases I can use. I can use it as a rocker, as a wobbler, and even use a ball to turn it into a single pivot, double pivot, or even using a single ball to roll around on (that's too advanced for me right now). Currently I’m using it as a basic rocker board, but I practice with different stances, different positions for the bases, while shifting my weight around, with or without eyes closed, and eventually I'll add some weight in my hands and do some arm movements while trying to keep my balance. It's set up at my main counter, where I can put my iPad or notepad down and watch videos or read and take notes while I'm on the board. Needless to say, I'm on it a LOT!

                I also do a bunch of jumping. I don't have real space to jump rope, and taking a rope out on my walks for intermittent jumping would destroy a jump rope really quick. So I'm just jumping. Before meals I'll jump and do microtrainings as mini-sprints, so I can burn up some glucose and make some room for the carbs in my meal (I keep the carbs low, though). I'm about to start adding in some of the footwork people learn with jump ropes.

                One area I feel I'm lacking is arm strengthening fun. Microtrainings are fine, but they aren't particularly fun right now (I have a LOT of strength to build before I can have real fun with them). I'm thinking about maybe adding in some stick-work (hitting something), or ball swinging kind of thing. I'd love to do a throw at target and catch the bounce back kind of thing, but I don't have the space for that (unless I can find something really small). I only have a 5’x5’ space to work with.

                And that's my update. I'm being much more active, in a playful and spontaneous way. And very much liking my 'diet' and the results I'm getting.




                    210618 Fri
                    steps: 11,638

                    Today I considered options for spontaneous upper body activities.
                    Indian Clubs have been on my radar off and on. So after finding some free tutorials, I bought some children's plastic bats at the $1 store, put sand in them, and tapped the hole closed. I now have a pair of 1 lb, 2 lb, and 4 lb clubs. I played a little with them, not much, really. But my arms, shoulders, back, and neck all have a comfortable tiredness to them. Though I might be sore in the morning. Even my husband played a little with them.

                    I also bought a book on stick fighting. Not cuz I want to fight nor compete. But as something that looked fun, is skill progressive, and won't require a bunch of prep before practicing. For my sticks we bought a dowel that felt comfy gripping. For target we're hanging a rope with a pool noodle on it. I saw something similar on Amazon for $100. Higher quality obviously. But mine costs $1 for the rope, $1 for the pool noodle, and $1 for the carabiner. This target can also be used for random 'boxing punches'.

                    Which brings me to a third spontaneous upper body activity. My daughter and I used to play with catching balls by using a ball on a elastic string attached to our wrists. I hung one up on my pull-up bar (it can be easily moved to the side for hanging/pulling practice). And my husband and I both, each time we pass it, stop to punch it a few times. We also try throwing it so it'll go over the bar so we can try catching it. It's not the best setup, but it's fun and makes us laugh. I did also buy a set of those balls that connect to a elastic string to a headband that's advertised as a reflex ball 'for boxers'. If the one on the push-up bar 'attacks us', I’m sure this one will too, lol.

                    I've also been considering a sandbag or water bag for spontaneous lifting. But I’m not sure where it's home would be, plus we have the 'clubs' right now. So I haven't done anything with this idea.

                    and finally, there's the pull-up bar and rings that are already available for spontaneous use. I do use them, mostly before a meal.
                    (once I can do a pull-up, I’ll be buying some climbing peg boards.)

                    so….any other ideas for spontaneous activities?


                      210619 Sat
                      steps: 6257

                      I am most definitely sore from yesterday’s playing with the homemade Indian clubs. Like I didn’t recognize some of the sore areas!
                      We put together my other new toys, and played with them, finding new ways of using each of them. Lots of laughing and fun. Loved it!


                        210704 Sun

                        I'm doing well, and my fitness level keeps improving.
                        I do lots of spontaneous activities throughout the day. The kitchen setup is pretty fun with fitness 'toys' everywhere and easily accessible. It's nice to see my husband randomly doing stuff as well.
                        I've progressed a level on the balance board. It's still a rocker set up, but a little more advanced. And often I don't make sure that the base is perfectly aligned, so there's usually some funky midline, which adds to the 'difficulty' level.
                        My wrists are able to handle a little more weight. So, I do "bar stool" pushups now, rather than wall or counter ones.
                        I can now hang from the pullup bar for a count of 5. I was super excited when I was able to lift myself off the ground for a count of 1. Soon after it was a count of 3. Now 5.

                        Before each meal I do jumping jacks to exhaustion, and rows, pushups, and squats to failure. It's getting a little harder to get squats to failure/exhaustion now, and that's with going super slow and pausing at each movement. Though I still have to hang onto the rings so I don't fall over if I've gone further than my muscles can lift back up. I've been considering adding a darebee workout to this time as well. But I'm hesitant cuz I've learned that I really really don't like 'workouts'. Though it's easy to say that I'm doing a premeal 'workout', my goal there is to get to exhaustion/failure as fast as I can. I'm not sure how to adapt the darebee workouts to that.

                        My weight continues to drop, though I had a stalled 2 weeks. I'm probably one of the few people who looks at the jiggly lumpy skin and feels gleeful...cuz it means that the fat is being used.

                        I've been vaccinated finally. Chills and fever was only about 48 hrs. I'm so glad that I waited to get the vaccine until my arms weren't swollen anymore, as my hand on the shot side kept going numb for about a week afterwards. And things were swollen around the shot site.

                        And finally, I have just sent in a request to my oncologist for the Signatera ctDNA test. It can let me know if my cancer is relapsing on average of 8.5 months before CT scans, and only requires regular blood samples (after a tumor analysis). This would provide so much peace of mind, regardless of what the test result comes out to be. I'd feel less like I'm in limbo.

                        I hope ya'll are surviving the heat wave!!


                          Fantastic progress!
                          I am so happy for your attitude and forward movement!


                            Hope you can get that test, it sounds like a good tool.


                              Great to read about your progress; well done!