Seeking Some Duct Tape

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    What daejamurrachan said

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      Thanks daejamurrachan, HellYeah80, sleep_twitch


      I need to find some way to be realistic about my current weight (I AM overweight. There ARE risk factors in both my personal medical history and my genome that make this a health issue. I AM no longer young enough to ignore this shit.) without it sounding like/being a value judgement. Trying to actually get my shit together, diet wise, is not something I have ever managed to do w out being totally fed up w how I look. Bc, I love food. I enjoy cooking, I tell ppl I love them by gifting them w food, I entertain myself reading cook books. So, eating even just maint, nvm a deficit, is really not pleasant for me. So the alternative needs to be less pleasurable for me to bother >.>

      I really value some nicer outside messaging, tho, esp w my current situation. My gym near my home has a mix of suburban ppl, little old ladies, actually morbidly obese guys making themselves trudge on treadmills, the obvious young moms trying to shed baby weight, as well as the fit looking types. The gym near my job...... I am not exaggerating in the least by saying I have never seen a person w a body fat % as high/higher then mine in there. It is fittness barbies of both genders, and a few skinny-fat pll trying to build some muscles, and I stick out like a sorethumb. (And yesterday some impatient ppl who wanted the rack I was using were actually low key laughing at me and I heard "why is that bitch even here she's such a cow" "hey, if we throw a candy bar across the room she'll go get it.") I need to reexamine my schedule to try to use gym near home more.

      (As a side note, fat can still be fashionable omg, have you seen GlitterAndLazers on Instagram? I love her style so much.)

      ANYWAY
      low carb cardio day - today is day 2 in a row lc bc I have lunch plans tomorrow for indian buffet.

      Full Circuit day 5
      Somewhat modified bc both my ankle and my shoulders were not having it full out
      Odd sets- step jacks to rest ankle
      Even sets - half jacks to rest shoulders
      All burpees w hands on a box
      but, fuck it. I got it done.

      annoyed that trick ankle is back. It behaves itself when I am lighter, gdi, but really it just never recovered from a series of sprains and one hairline fracture (which I walked off thinking it was another sprain) as a teenager.

      2 sets easy abs w 6lb ball
      20 alt bounces
      10 dead bugs
      10 high crunches

      345 dares, 262 w ec. 715 day streak

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        Takes on the mat that impatient person from yesterday. With my three trusty dragon sidekicks, and a singe "Drakarys".
        And realize there are also three other bees on my side , daejamurrachan , sleep_twitch and HellYeah80 , who have also dispatched him in creative ways.
        Never raise the ire of the bees!

        And hugs for 'rin !

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          Originally posted by 'rin View Post
          (And yesterday some impatient ppl who wanted the rack I was using were actually low key laughing at me and I heard "why is that bitch even here she's such a cow" "hey, if we throw a candy bar across the room she'll go get it.")
          What a shame! I tell you, when I see a non-fit person who exercises, I admire him/her more than a fit person. Really.


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            Your body might be overweight and you might have to lose weight. And that's ok, especially for health reasons. But by calling yourself 'fat', you play the same game as these gym assholes. Be kind to yourself. You have every right to use the rack.

            Your personality is not defined by your weight. It may be your weak spot, but you can make a change.

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              Wow. Just wow.

              I have not used a public gym in many years. I hear the stories about rude behaviour in those places. But I had no idea there were gym people who are such arseholes.

              You are awesome for being brave enough to even show up in such a place. And go you for sticking to your guns and getting your work done in the face of such hostility.

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                That gym has no business staying in business 'rin. I was horrified reading your post! What a bunch of assholes. Ugly on the inside cannot be fixed. And honestly, their faces are asking to be rearranged. I don't get this kind of attitudes at all. You come to the gym to work, it should be admired and celebrated. You should be admired and celebrated And you are, here you are. You are amazing. The amount of work you put in, the sheer willpower it takes to keep going... YOU ROCK.

                You are strong. You are beautiful. You can do anything.

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                  'rin in addition to what neilarey just said I need to add a little more depth and offer, perhaps, some perspective. Before I do that, I must also say that gyms that permit such culture are already a failed business whose clock is ticking and people who are permitted to behave this way are to be pitied.

                  Now, for the slightly more nuanced approach, in my day job I help companies communicate better. The language we use always operates in two levels at once and sometimes the second level is conscious, some subconscious. The first level is designed to communicate information. It is the meaning of the words we say. But the other level is designed to communicate status. The choice of the words we use and how we use them is intended to show how someone is perceived as equal, below or above the person who is doing the communicating. The people in the gym using such language are themselves feeling inferior (and need to make themselves feel better by lowering someone else's status) and afraid hence this over-reaction. It reveals more about them than they realize and it also conveniently allows them to forget that all of us start from somewhere and wherever we are it is still a journey. Everything is impermanent. They are truly pathetic individuals who lack basic self awareness and self respect. Keep doing what you want. You're one of us and I, for one, am proud to know you.

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                    When neilarey and Damer drop into your check-in thread, you know shit just got real. Like super real when the queen bee is using swear words.

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                      As before mentioned-- you rock

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                        I have two different things to say. First, the gym near your workplace is trash. Others already explained why and in a manner far better than I could.

                        Second, I get where you're at with calling yourself varying terms for overweight. You have right to say that about yourself, as I do about myself. Like you, I am not where I want to be, but I can see it, sort of, on the horizon. It's just so much further away than it appears, and it's still so easy to turn around and go back to the old way of doing things. I won't tell you to stop saying things about yourself. I will offer a bit of unsolicited advice: do your best one day at a time. If you fail on your diet one day, it's not over. Just fix it and move on. Yep, I need to learn how to take my own advice, too.

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                          Originally posted by 'rin View Post
                          (As a side note, fat can still be fashionable omg, have you seen GlitterAndLazers on Instagram? I love her style so much.)
                          I love that account too - it's part of my "unsubscribe accounts that make you feel sh*it, diversify feed to show people of all body sizes" campaign. Also bodyposipanda with her jiggle dance videos - try it in front of the mirror (with curtains closed obviously), then remind yourself that "six pack, wearing sports bra and no t-shirt" gym chicks can't do it and miss out on all the fun LOL

                          I recently switched my gym for a cheaper, larger one with longer opening hours, but also got the sh*t people and feeling super awkward about not owning super nice, fashionable gym clothes in return. But that comment about you using the rack - those people need some serious

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                            I am seriously overwhelmed, in a great way. This is literally one of the best places on the internet. Thanks Louve rose HellYeah80 Rainbow Dragon aveoturbo noname wjs (I have a rl friend who is 250lbs+ lost into her journey away from 500lbs and she is in a tough spot emotionally atm also, I think the middle of the journey is harder then movie montages make it out to be) sleep_twitch (and yes I follow her, too, but she is in her underwear so much I don't think of her as a "fashion" account lol) and, omg, to have neilarey and Damer drop into my thread in the midst of all the cool stuff they are adding here atm w jobs on top of this etc...I really feel well looked out for.

                            On to productive things to do about the situation:

                            1-I am going to write an email to corporate about that branch of the gym. That branch is toxic but their overall branding is that fittness comes in all sizes - their hashtags are #flexthatsmile and #everybodyhappy, their advertising and Instagram and the tvs at front of gym are filled w pics of diverse clients of all sizes. (They have regrammed or used me in gym tv things a few times actually, lol.) Midtown Manhattan is super competitive asshole country but, still, it's not their brand image at all and a few of their trainers contribute to this shittyness.

                            2- I am going to use that branch less. It IS the only branch to use, time wise, if I am going before an early morning shift. Or on a Sunday. But going there when I work a late shift is just lazyness, and I shouldn't put myself into a toxic environment just bc I am lazy. Like cleaning out my Instagram feed - I kept a few ppl who might otherwise lead me to compare myself unfavorably bc they had good content otherwise, but was smart about limiting the amounts of it.

                            ((as a side note, my "haven't done this in ages let's go light" squats were heavier then bitchy person did, and I had to restrain self from walking over to say "how does it feel that this cow is stronger than you?"))


                            My real workout today will be carrying huge pile of books down to friend's car and throwing in donations bin (why did I buy thrillers I almost never reread (like, james rollins and matthew reily stuff) in fkn hardcover) so I put program off a day bc pushups to be nice to shoulders.


                            1 set full Circuit to decide that
                            Lower body works



                            345 dares, 262 w ec. 716 day streak

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                              'rin we all have ups & downs for self image. even some of the insta-famous types have started posting their here's-the-real-me pictures. they still make their money using lights, angles, tricks and prolly some filters/photoshop but some of them are trying to not be asshats. i will be the first to say that i can look in the mirror and be very unhappy with what i see. but i am not fat; i have some fat that i would like to lose. the extra stored energy is not who you are. it's an add-on, like nail polish or a leather biker jacket. granted, it's a little harder to take off than nail polish but it can be done and one place to start is to not make it part of your identity (i am vs i have).

                              *hugs you*

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                                Geez. People never cease to amaze me with their ignorance. When you have to use the shitty gym, can you wear headphones? I think I've said this before but you are an inspiration. Fuck those small people!

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