Seeking Some Duct Tape

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    Arms of steel 21 and met gym friends outside for awhile.

    Current Streak 330

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      Walked a lot, am up through day 24 on arms of steel.

      Took my GRE yesterday. Basically blind. (I did 30 practice questions, freaked about how badly I did on the math, went and found some free resources to study the math... and didn't look at them.) I basically aced the verbal reasoning (164). I got at the bottom of the standard deviation of average for the math (142). We'll see how much my inability to spell fucks me over on the essay part in a week or so. (I told my 1st grade teacher that I didn't need to learn to spell bc the computer would beep at me when I spelled things wrong so I could just look them up then (zenwriter on commodore 64 did not make suggestions but did tell you when you were wrong) and just... proceeded to never learn to spell bc wtf I TOLD you I didn't need to learn that can you teach me something else please? (I got to go sit in the hallway w my workbooks so as to not be a disruption at that point >.> I spent half of 1st grade and 4/5ths of 2nd in the hallway w random workbooks the teachers scrounged up... luckily my third grade teacher was flexible enough to deal with me more productively.) I will never have kids so my mom's "you'll call me to apologize when you have a kid like you" won't ever be true but w my luck students like me will find me I'm sure.) But yeah... I woke up this morning SUPER SMUG bc I realized that blindly, after not taking a math class in over 20 years (and I literally burnt my book after that class) I did roughly average on a test that most people study like crazy for after just graduating college so they have recent math classes in their brains >.>

      I brought myself back to earth (slightly) by doing a timed practice test for my EAS (educating all students), which I need to pass. I passed the multiple choice part blind, barely. So I do need to actually study a bit since 30% of the grade is on written parts and ofc we don't have access to spell check for that so I need multiple choice part to be basically perfect. Listening to my mom and various teacher friends complain about their principals over the years since NY state changed to "common core" standards got me through it on educated guesses but I should do a bit of work to not risk failing and having to pay for a new exam. The other one(s) I need to pass are 3 subject area tests that I stupidly scheduled all the same day bc I got frustrated w the scheduling portal, so I'm looking at 6 hrs of exam in August. One of which I'm a bit anxious about (science/arts) and another which I'm actively worried about (math, ofc) (the language arts one I'm not sweating but I'll do a timed practice test soon to ensure I'm correct in not sweating it).

      So ya. This is real, and I'm really working on it.

      Current Streak 333

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        Math was always my issue too. I am excited for you!

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          CODawn I really need to stop thinking of it as an issue, though. Like... yes, it is not as easy for me as English or sciences or even history is... but I do actually do better than average at it. I think that thinking about it as an "issue" is most of my fucking issue >.> if that makes any sense. I need to work a little bit at math, oh well. I somehow think that makes math hard bc I don't need to work to grasp other things for the most part. If it wasn't for math being an "issue" for me I would have never learned study skills >.>

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            It does make sense. A lot. Thanks for reminding me fo something I need to stop doing too.

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              I took a course on basic programming last semester, and, honestly, it was refreshing to have to adopt a different mindset after all the years of studying humanities. Maybe you could look at math in a similar way too.

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                I agree with Mianevem different mindsets are refreshing, not to mention important.

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                  I'm studying right now to CLEP biology. Then I'll start studying for College Algebra CLEP. Biology is easy for me, Algebra not so much. Some of that may be my mind set. I'm not bad at math, just not great and it doesn't come easy for me.
                  I like your attitude and mind set. I need to incorporate that for tackling Algebra. I'm not bad at it really. I shouldn't think that I struggle. I just have to work a bit harder to accomplish it. Really not any different than some of the physical stuff I do. Some of it comes easy, some of it takes more work and practice. I don't think I'm bad at those things, I just think I need to learn more to know how to accomplish them better. I should think that way with learning math as well.

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                    Originally posted by 'rin View Post
                    CODawn I really need to stop thinking of it as an issue, though. Like... yes, it is not as easy for me as English or sciences or even history is... but I do actually do better than average at it. I think that thinking about it as an "issue" is most of my fucking issue >.> if that makes any sense.
                    Yup.

                    In my high school, trigonometry was for some reason the bug-a-boo for math students. I did enriched math in HS, which meant all of the students in my math class were good at math. Still, a lot of them were afraid of trig. Being the enriched class, we did trigonometry a year before everyone else. So we were the first of our age peers to encounter it. But it was basic, entry level trigonometry. For people who are already aces at basic algebra and Euclidean geometry, beginner level trig should be a breeze. But a lot of people psyched themselves into doing poorly on the test. The guy who usually was top of the class actually failed our first trig test. (Which was quite a shock for the poor guy who, I'm sure, had never failed at anything in school before.) After that, our teacher invested some effort into helping the students have a better attitude towards trigonometry, and everyone aced our second, considerably more complex trig test.

                    I think you're fortunate to have had to work, at least a little bit, to do well in math. One of the most important things school should be teaching people is how to learn. But when everything in school is so freaking easy one constantly feels an urge to smash their head repeatedly onto their desk in the hope of feeling some kind of sensation--anything at all really--in one's brain, the only things one actually learns from school are how to be lazy and bored.

                    (For the record: I have never actually smashed my head onto my desk with enough force to do any damage. But the temptation was real.)

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                      I was mostly mis-served by "gifted" education in the mid 90s. Like... I was given enough work to do that I was at least never totally bored... but it was mostly just more work, not necessarily harder work.

                      And, even tho my highschool actually taught some life skills (we all took 1 year of typing, and "technology" (how to use tools w out killing self/basic car maintenance like tire/oil change) & home ec (basic cooking and sewing) were required of everyone).... I never learned to study until I got to calculus. Everything else I ran into, I could listen in class/read the books and I had it. I never had to work to learn anything, so even tho they kept me busy by giving me more things to learn I got shit for study skills and even less for how to manage my (mild) ADD.

                      At the same time, altho my school district was technically in a depressed area ... (I looked it up, currently something like 3/4 of the kids are on free/reduced lunch, similar stats to where I'll be teaching.) They fund that school. Somehow, some way, they beg borrow steal and overpay property taxes even when most of the town has occasionally needed the food bank. So I got out of highschool w no clue how to study, but with nearly 30 credits already for college between classes taken in conjunction w a local college + clep/ap exams.

                      So yeah. Learning how to study so I can learn how to teach kids who don't/won't just magically grasp everything so I can earn a "free" professional cert by teaching in low income schools... it is both awesome and a bit scary to be heading this way lol. It feels like the right decision, though. It's a way I can meaningfully give back.

                      So why did I wake up haveing a fucking panic attack at 230 am?

                      Anyway....

                      Met gym friends outside today

                      Current Streak 334

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                        Your experience is so interesting. I never just "got" things. Of course, I would have to pay attention and I was usually preoccupied (daydreaming, writing notes to friends, writing in journal). I was (still am) and expert procrastinator. In HS,, I didn't give a shit. I did better in college but I was still a procrastinator who wrote in my journal in class. My mind is always moving so it's hard for me to retain shit.

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                          Originally posted by 'rin View Post
                          So yeah. Learning how to study so I can learn how to teach kids who don't/won't just magically grasp everything so I can earn a "free" professional cert by teaching in low income schools... it is both awesome and a bit scary to be heading this way lol.
                          I mostly got a really awesome cross country/track & field running experience out of high school. Because I got good grades though, the school asked me every year to tutor the kids who struggled. I always said no because I didn't know how to help other kids because I couldn't understand why school wasn't easy for them. Then in my senior year, one of the grade nine kids on the T&F team came to me for advice. She was upset because her father was threatening to make her quit the team because she was failing math. I told her to go to the remedial studies room and ask for help. The next day I got called down to the guidance office and asked--once again--if I was interested in tutoring another student.

                          "You ask me this every year," I said, "and every year I give you the same answer: No. No I don't want to be a tutor. I'm good at getting good grades. I'm not good at teaching. I don't even know how to teach!"

                          "Karen asked for you," the guidance counsellor said.

                          Then I felt obligated, because I was the one who had told her what to do to get help, and the people I'd sent her to told her she needed a tutor, and she'd picked me. So I agreed--with much trepidation--to do it.

                          The first time I sat down with this kid to do math I told her grade nine math was so long ago for me I didn't remember it. So I needed her to explain to me what she was trying to do, and then I would try to figure out where she was going wrong. So she did. It turned out her so-called math teacher had not taught her any actual math. All he had done was try to get her to memorize formulae via the use of catchy phrases as mnemonic devices. But she didn't understand what the formalae were for or why they worked, and her so-called teacher's catch phrases shed no light on this matter whatsoever. So she was lost. I had to start over from scratch with her and teach her the entire grade nine curriculum in a month. Which I did--but I taught her the actual math, proving every formula from first principles.

                          That kid, who had been failing math, who was supposedly so bad at math her teacher didn't think it was worth his while to even try to teach her the subject properly, got an A on her final exam-in a course she had been forced to learn in only one month!

                          You absolutely can be a good teacher, even though your teachers never really had to do anything for you when you were in school. And you will be a good teacher, because you actually care about the kids and want to do a good job. (Probably the system will drive you crazy though. That girl who I tutored was far from the only kid in my school falling through the cracks because her teachers couldn't be bothered to actually teach her anything. )

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                            Originally posted by Rainbow Dragon View Post
                            That kid, who had been failing math, who was supposedly so bad at math her teacher didn't think it was worth his while to even try to teach her the subject properly
                            WHAT?!?!

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                              Originally posted by LizardFriend95 View Post

                              WHAT?!?!
                              Oh yeah. There were kids in my school--I shouldn't call them "kids" as they were 19 and 20 years old--young adults then, who were still in high school and still illiterate. Students needed 5 English credits to graduate from HS. It's kind of hard to pass English courses when one cannot read or write--hence why (well, one of the reasons why) these young adults were still in school. I used to hang out in the special ed room on my lunch hour to play Scrabble, so I saw a lot of what went on in there. I watched a teaching assistant work with the illiterate students to "help" them write an English test. The "help" went like this:

                              1. The TA read the passage of text the question was based on out loud to the students.
                              2. The TA read the test question to the students.
                              3. The TA coached the students on how to answer the question.
                              4. The TA wrote down the answer which she had given to the students, which she had got them to agree was the correct answer to the question.
                              5. The TA wrote the student's name on the test paper which she had written and handed it in for grading.

                              No joke.

                              My mother was a teaching assistant in the special ed department at this time. (Not the one in the story above.) She suggested to the head of the department that she could actually teach the illiterate students how to read. The department head replied, "Oh no! We can't be teaching high school students how to read! That would be embarrassing for them!"

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                                ouch Rainbow Dragon that's really sad

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