Seeking Some Duct Tape

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    I've been procrastinating important things all week long too. But we're bees, we stick together and never give up!

    ..and the world needs that story you're writing

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      Originally posted by 'rin View Post
      Do you ever know EXACTLY what you need to do to get out of whatever mess you are in and just.. not do it? Any of it? Actively resent the existence of such things that might help you?
      EVERY FUCKING DAY, generally speaking...

      One day at a time, Rin. The fact that you are remaining active proves you are a fighter. The fact that you can see the good things through the bad is awesome. Keep your head up!

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        Whirly TheLibrarian PetiteSheWolf Trbrat75 sleep_twitch thank you all so much. The hive really is a special place.

        This morning only slothed for 2 coffees, and got Upperbodybuilder done (10lbs) bc it is just easy and nice and doesn't involve putting down yoga matt which 1st requires sterilization of floor bc of cat etc.

        My goals for rest of today: errands (liquor store, groceries), downgrade apt from bomb site to place messy ppl live (garbage/recycling, clean bathroom, sweep floors, basic tidy), make supper (easy stew), apply for at least 1 thing, and at least open file and read where I'm at.

        Current streak 178

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          I feel stuck some weeks too and it's great that you recognized some victories. Don't forget that reality has been haywire since March also; pandemic stress hits me out of nowhere sometimes still. Oof I really need to get on my own job search.

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            First of all....
            Second of all...yes to your question.

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              Knowing is with your mind, are thoughts. Doing/being able to do/motivation, comes from emotion.
              And sometimes emotion paralyses you, and your mind can scream at it's loudest that you have to do something, but it only makes you feel more terrible. So be kind to yourself, it's the only way to feel a little better, and the time will come you won't be paralised anymore. Maybe it'll come even sooner

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                NancyTree that makes so much sense, but i have never thought of it that way...so thank you

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                  NancyTree that is such a good way to frame this, thank you. 90% of the time, if I get paralyzed, it's bc I don't know *what* to do. Then I figure it out and I just go, my trauna response is generally flight w a side of fight. This freeze response is new for me. But ya, this is probably legitimately the most stressed I've ever been, and I've lost one of my key coping strategies ("call Dad" was right up there w "take a walk" and "hide in bath"), so I guess I should not be surprised to find a new sort of stress response.

                  And thank you CODawn and oneironaut
                  Today I need to write. And maybe do some yoga. That's it. I did my "call about lost fucking package" chore (round 2). I looked at job boards. I don't have to cook bc I already did yesterday. (Beef Stew w Whiskey.) Place is reasonably clean. Might also get the mail bc cards are coming in now.

                  Workout wise, dodged some snowballs, did advent, and this easy new leg workout + angry bird lv1. Just keeping it easy today bc lacked sleep.

                  ...and now I want to play angry bird.

                  Current streak 179

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                    I wanna say everything everyone has already said. So, Iโ€™ll just send hugs your way. I hear ya on having a key coping mechanism gone (lost parent). I really miss being able to call my mom about this Covid shit, and election nonsense. Yet, Iโ€™m *glad* sheโ€™s not another reason to worry about Covid.....
                    You are doing all the right things, @โ€˜rin. Keep your chin up. ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

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                      A friend posted that yesterday, and it spoke to the same thing that NancyTree mentioned ... and ya, as DorothyMH agreed it IS hard to deal w a lacking coping mechanism. BUT. All of my coping mechanisms are based on the fact that my normal trauma response is FLIGHT with a tiny bit of fight. So usually I cope by trying to make myself stop and think so that I don't run off in a stupid direction, bc it's a given that I am going to start doing all the things even if they are the wrong things. I need to find some new coping tools that revolve around getting unstuck, bc I am in molasses.

                      Got some writing done yesterday, at least. Today I need to go get supplies bc snow storm incoming and if I run out of coffee cream I might kill people. And keep writing, and do some gaming w hubby.

                      Today's workout was downdog Hatha flow, 20 mins. Plus upper body advent and this thing bc why not lol.

                      Current streak 180

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                        oh and I dodged 16 of these... better go throw some back.

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                          Holy Hell...I am Flight, Freeze and Fawn....a doe with wings essentially...not a whole lot of fight in me normally. Occasionally I lose my shit, but not often.

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                            holy hell indeed, that image ... I see me everywhere ...

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                              Yep, great illustration of how fucked up I get/have gotten with all the death drama in my family over the last 7 years. I am a completely different person from what I was in early 2013....thanks for posting that, @โ€˜rin. Itโ€™s helpful, indeed.

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                                Wow...thanks. I am a mixture of all of these fun things...fight the least but I do have the anger outburst.

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