Seeking Some Duct Tape

Looking at my food logs and starting to think what the next nutrition based goal should be. Undecided if I want to raise my fruit/veg goal (the idea stresses me out but rly I ought to eat more veggies) or cut out bednight snacks (this is just a bad habit, it is flavor/comfort seeking not bc of hunger, I could just have tea or cocoa). Oh well, I've got a week to decide.

Today I got out early for a medium walk before it got hot out, and continued on my quest to work through saved Instagram workouts with this upper body dumbell set from theqii_tofittness. Sets/reps weren't listed so I did 4 sets of 10 at 8lbs for all but the last one, which I did 4 sets of 5 at 5lbs bc lateral raises can diaf.

If it doesn't get canned due to heat I've got a class tonight outdoors.


Habits:
Active 60min 33/36
Fluid 100oz 33/36
Fruit/Veg 3 34/36
Food log 1st 21/21
Wakeup 17/21
Water > coffee 19/21
Active 75 min 6/7
Lean protein 7/7

Day 43

So today I felt like self immolation.....but did not want to go outside bc it is FUCKING HOT. My class got canceled bc of said heat so at least no guilt. Back to Instagram!

Did this shoulder killer (again) w all of 2lbs and it was STILL killer. (I have unfollowed/refollowed this gal a few times. I like her workouts but find her somehow triggering/problematic sometimes.)

Then a few hrs later I did this unilateral lower body set from Lucy Mountain x3 w 15lbs. Last set I was molasses slowga. Her taste in music is questionable imho but, I super enjoy her workouts and the whole community she has built. The only thing I dislike is that she is obviously selling things but...I can't hate her for wanting to make a living (I mean, I pay a trainer sometimes myself) and it's refreshing she is selling fittness without selling self loathing at least.

I am SO sore. Just some gentle yoga and my walking today.



Habits:
Active 60min 34/37
Fluid 100oz 34/37
Fruit/Veg 3 35/37
Food log 1st 22/22
Wakeup 18/22
Water > coffee 20/22
Active 75 min 7/8
Lean protein 8/8

Day 44

Did not get fruit/veg in yesterday. Boo hiss. But,had nice dinner out w hubby so whatever.



Continuing my "Instagram backlog" I did this stsnding abs from Spiritfitmama. I like her for workouts/outlook but I think her diet plans would be triggery for me. Lacking guidelines on reps I did 10 per leg of each as a Circuit, twice. Might just go back to anywhere abs in future, idk.

Also did back and biceps express, w 15lbs, last set of curls had some serious struggle reps.


Today this Italian food truck will be abt 1.5 miles from my apt at dinner time so..... I better overload veggies on breakfast/lunch bc I want a prosciutto panini for supper. That will also get me my walk >.>




Habits:
Active 60min 35/38
Fluid 100oz 35/38
Fruit/Veg 3 35/38
Food log 1st 23/23
Wakeup 19/23
Water > coffee 21/23
Active 75 min 8/9
Lean protein 9/9

Day 45

Continuing backlog today, and dealing with a peak insecurity. I fucking hate my arms. Even at my slimmest my arms are never slim. I am tall but I will never be "willowy" .....bc of them, I will never look properly feminine. I have been held back in meeting some of my fittness goals by arms being weak bc I hate working them much bc I don't want them bulkier. I need to fucking get over this. But really.... If I'll never like them anyway they may as well be strong.

So. Janelledfit biceps set. Did 1st round at 8lbs then dropped to 5s for last 3 so that I could keep form crispy.

What is "properly feminine" though? I have slim arms but barely anything that you could call breasts.

Yeah, @‘rin, we all (women, at least) have parts of our bodies that we aren’t happy with. No matter how much we exercise, it won’t change our genetics. At some point in life, there is a time to accept our bodies as the feminine that they are, which is different from all the idealized bodies we saw growing up. It’s a lousy deal, but, it DOES beat having numerous surgeries to become “fake” in every part🥴 It has taken me over half a century to get to that. And, some days I still struggle. After having spouses who did, I am now thankful for a spouse who has never once asked me to augment or change any part of my anatomy. That has made it infinitely easier to progress in my own self acceptance. I hope for the same for every woman, including you​​​​​​​

You have it right with "we all", no need to qualify it to women.

DorothyMH I cannot understand how some people have the audacity to ask that of someone. It’s great that your spouse doesn’t.

Women and femininity come in all sorts of wonderful shapes and sizes, despite what society would have us believe by presenting us with a narrow picture of what the "ideal woman" is supposed to look like. I know it can be really tough to ignore the societal pressures to fit into a certain mold of femininity - I think all women struggle with it (and I'm sure all men struggle with similar pressures to look masculine). It sounds like you would enjoy being stronger in your arms, so I would say go for it! I will also say that as my arms have gotten stronger, they do not really look bigger or bulkier, just more toned.

I hope you can find some peace with your body

Sooner or later you have to make peace with your body, age helps if accompanied by inner growth.
Ironically, the luckiest as a youngster then pains later because they lose everything they bet more on

Thank you so so much Mianevem DorothyMH wjs LizardFriend95 Whirly15 Fremen

did some yoga this morning, will walk.

Habits:
Active 60min 36/39
Fluid 100oz 36/39
Fruit/Veg 3 36/39
Food log 1st 24/24
Wakeup 20/24
Water>coffee 22/24
Active 75 min 9/10
Lean protein 10/10

Day 96

Late as usual. People don't even need female bits to women anymore. It could be liberating, depends how you look at it...

LOL and thanks Amirsh

Honestly, I think 80% of my body image issues stem from being so tall at such a young age. I've been my current height (5'10) since I was 10 years old. So I LITERALLY stood out my whole childhood. I was as tall as the teacher in kindergarten. No wonder I have some lingering sense that my body is somehow wrong. I mean, being fat (my set point bmi is slightly overweight, I generally end up a size 12-14 if I am reasonably active and eat however I like) in a society that values thin doesn't help. But I might not of noticed if it was JUST that bc I only really care what ppl think of me if I happen to like/respect them.


Today I carried 100$ (after coupons) in groceries home. Did another backlogged workout from theqii_tofittness w 15lbs dumbells (altho did the swings w my 1 kettlebell @25). Lacking guidance on sets/reps I did 3/10 each. Will do ClairPThomas shoulder killer w 2lbs later.

Idk why I find her borderline useful/problematic. Maybe her attitude? Like, Janelledfit is about the same body type and she never makes me feel "triggered". Alexiaclark is in the same "set" and she fucked w my head so much I blocked her so I'd stop looking at her. There is some combo of a particular attitude + that "right between fittness model and body builder" physique. At least I wised up enough to clean up my Instagram feed so it doesn't fuck w me.


Habits:
Active 60min 37/40
Fluid 100oz 37/40
Fruit/Veg 3 37/40
Food log 1st 25/25
Wakeup 21/25
Water>coffee 23/25
Active 75 min 10/11
Lean protein 11/11

Day 47

Could be. I remember my tall friend scared the boys away, that was useful. She was at 4th grade the same height I am now.