Seeking Some Duct Tape

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    It’s so cool being able to see birds like that! We had a nest about two years ago with three blue jay eggs, but only one baby bird hatched.

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      Going to let my walk be my workout today, as I did a bonus workout last night bc gym ppl had a bootcamp.



      Habits:
      Active 60min 14/15
      Fluid 100oz 14/15
      Fruit/Veg 3 13/15
      Food log 1st 1/1
      Wakeup 1/1
      Water > coffee 1/1

      Day 25

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        Just missed fluids yesterday again (by 8oz). Did not drink anything at work after lunch>.>

        Rediculously anxious that the national response to this pandemic is to ignore it and wonder why it's not gone yet. NY is in pretty good hands but, ppl come here (had a fkn Floridian yesterday, at least he stayed masked and didn't freak out when I sanatized jewelry he had handled....unlike crazy gal I had to finish helping when my colleague ran away who took off her mask then said she didn't have to wear it bc she wasn't a dirty new yorker like us....I may have convinced her she was probably parked in a tow zone to get her to gtfo) (and if ppl have to stop comming here I will have no clients and make no money). Our national acceptance of school shootings as the price of 2A and ppl dying from rationing insulin as the price of keeping gov out of healthcare leads me to worry that we could just accept these deaths from Corona as the price of freedom to not wear fucking masks....and I don't think other countries are going to accept possible plague as price of having American tourist $$ so we are going to be pretty isolated here if so. Usually when I am this anxious it is about something absolutely irrational and I can tell myself to stfu...or about something I can do something about so I can go do things. This is neither, I am sort of out of coping skills. Please send coping skills, as I don't thing becoming a Xanax Zombie is the right answer lol.


        ANYWAY.
        Did foundation day idk, leg tendons. And 3 sets of this Circuit (5 rep each) w body bar: bent row, up row, reverse grip curl, military press, triceps extension. Will go meet gym folx on park tonight.

        Habits:
        Active 60min 15/16
        Fluid 100oz 14/16
        Fruit/Veg 3 15/16
        Food log 1st 2/2
        Wakeup 2/2
        Water > coffee 2/2

        Day 25

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          I am sorry as I don't have any coping skills to pass along. I am feeling pretty melancholy...basically reading a lot of novels to get my mind of shit.

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            So why was she there if she thought you all were “dirty New Yorkers?” And the gun crap makes me mad. We shouldn’t have to worry about sending kids to school. Well, actually, all of that makes me mad .

            I wish I could help with the anxiety, but I’m in the same boat.

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              I'm basically on drugs (prescription), but they do help. The state of mind, not the actual situation. Stay safe and keep your mask, gloves and sanitizing gel/soap... whatever on and near by at all times. They even have plastic masks with a special strap so it's comfortable and you can wear it all day.

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                Thank you CODawn LizardFriend95 Amirsh

                I need to look into customer service jobs I can do at home. (Not inside sales /shudder. Helping clients who approach for help.)

                The order of the day today was stay mostly indoors (my only errand was nice iced coffee and finally getting watch I bought hubby for xmas sized) and distraction (played some mtg w sleep_twitch and another friend online).

                My class tonight got canceled so. Did this shoulder killer I found on Instagram w 2lbs dumbells + a 4th time through w 2/4/4 reps instead of 5/10/15 at 5lbs dumbbells. My shoulders lost a LOT of strength when I had injury, I need to get them back in shape.

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                  Sounds like you are handling it the way a sane and rational person would: be mad and keep yourself safe. Love how you got the lady out the door with the parking tale! Hang in there. We are all in this together. Here in rural BFE it’s just as bad, only in a different, more *rural Amurica* way

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                    Coping skills: The ones my therapist always wants me to use (exercise / power nap after work / draw and paint), the ones I use a lot (cuddle cat / meditate and journal / distract myself with reading / Netflix / gaming), and the ones I learned from others (boxing a pillow or screaming into a pillow / emergency dance party). All of them can be helpful, depending on the particular situation.

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                      Only walked today.

                      Did not get up on time yesterday. By 5 mins. But I have a 1 hr window so still a miss.

                      Habits:
                      Active 60min 16/17
                      Fluid 100oz 15/17
                      Fruit/Veg 3 16/17
                      Food log 1st 3/3
                      Wakeup 2/3
                      Water > coffee 3/3

                      Day 26

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                        I am annoyed at these sluggish mornings Ive been having.

                        Did foundation today just at lv1 just to force self out of couch coma. My commute walk will be my 15+ mins


                        Habits:
                        Active 60min 17/18
                        Fluid 100oz 16/18
                        Fruit/Veg 3 17/18
                        Food log 1st 4/4
                        Wakeup 3/4
                        Water > coffee 4/4

                        Day 37

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                          So ya. Yesterday was pretty fucking awful. I got in an argument with an asshole on the subway (yes, I know 2 ppl can normally sit in this space, no, now is not normal it is a pandemic I don't want to sit with anyone touching me. No, I am not racist bc I don't want you next to me, you are sexist bc you asked me to move and not the guy in the identical space across from me. You can have the whole fucking seat, I'll just get off here.) and walked 40 extra blocks otw to work. Had a fucking blister on the inside of my heel from new shoes day before that was bloody before I got a special blister bandaid for it. Got put over in the shoe dept for the day at work bc my colleague who was supposed to be put there today was having a panic over maskless/mask as chin strap assholes so I swapped w him. Went running for at least 40 shoes we did not have sizes in, and 4 times found shoes for ppl only to have them wander away in the meantime. Spent 20 mins playing show and tell to end up w the client keeping the shoes they bought before (from someone else). Got an issue dumped on me that tied me up for 40 mins. Found 3 pairs of shoes that were in the wrong fkn boxes, one of which had been sold to an (understandably) annoyed client in the wrong box. Talked said panicked colleague down a bit and spent time teaching him a meditation tool, further taking me off sales floor. Got stuck 20 mins after we closed w ppl who wanted shoes that we didn't have so didn't even get paid for it. Mismanaged my breaks/food and was a starving creature when I got home (lunch at noon... home at 930, just 1 coffee and no snack between) so I had half a damn pizza (and garlic knots) for dinner at 10 pm.


                          BUT. I stood up to asshole on subway, and kept myself safe. I had a nice walk down 5th ave and saw the new #blm street painting in front of Trump tower (maybe that will keep him from coming here so we don't have to spend tax dollars protecting his ass). Once I got blister bandaid I didn't even remember my foot was injured (those things are fucking magic). Still sold enough shoes that altho I won't make commission on last week I also won't owe the company next time I do (look up base vs draw... I met my draw by skin of my teeth) which would not of happened in my normal dept... and bc I was anxious to escape I also caught a nice client who needed some shorts and got him those and jeans and had a lovely conversation about motorcycles and made a repeat client I think. Better learned the goddamn shoe stockroom. Actually got colleague who dumped issue on my head in a good bit of trouble (not purposely, even, had to call a mgr to deal w client in the end and the CLIENT told the mgr "this is absurd, 1st the guy won't help me and dumps me on this girl and now she can't help me and I have to wait for you" so I'm not even a rat and he's still caught) and he had to ring his next sale under my number for tying me up, maybe taught these people I am not a fucking doormat (maybe not they are slow learners). Stole sale from asshole who didn't even look in a shoe box before selling a shoe, w management blessing, bc wtf look in the box. Was in the right place at the right time to be able to help out a colleague and thankfully knew a tool he could use. Got off subway in the rain to my local bus being right there so my late timing was perfect after all. Still met basic nutrition (3 servings fruit/veg, more water than coffee, 100oz fluids) goals even with my mismanagement, and did not eat a chocolate bar after my pizza.


                          This reminded me something that I feel like I really need to keep in mind at the moment. I will ALWAYS be ok. Whatever happens doesn't fucking matter. I am resilient, I am competent, I am stubborn, I have a high tolerance for pain and discomfort, I am resourceful to the point of scrappiness, and I am helpful enough *always* that when *I* yell for help I get it. I will often be inconvenience or beat up or unhappy or left standing in the middle of mess that looks like a bomb went off in a dorm room..... but somehow I will get through things, because this is what I do.

                          The next year or so is going to be fucking hard. My income is uncertain. My health is endangered. A lot of shit I have no control over is impacting or could impact me in catastrophic ways. AND I can't even run away to visit my best friend for a long weekend (my favorite coping skill) bc my passport is basically invalid atm bc America is plagued. But it doesn't matter. Because I will be ok.



                          Today's workout was 3 sets of foundation cardio interspersed with 3 sets of bicep killing (10 curls, 10 rope curls, 10 hammer curls, 10 alt punches, 8lbs).





                          Habits:
                          Active 60min 18/19
                          Fluid 100oz 17/19
                          Fruit/Veg 3 18/19
                          Food log 1st 5/5
                          Wakeup 4/5
                          Water > coffee 5/5

                          Day 28

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                            Originally posted by 'rin View Post
                            But it doesn't matter. Because I will be ok.
                            You did great, and ...
                            yes, you will!

                            Comment


                              I loved your rant, and then your self talk was superb!! We should all take your self talk as our own. You’re amazing

                              Comment


                                You're strong, and I believe in you. Bees are there for each other, and we'll always listen if you need to rant (or play cards for distraction).

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