from Colorado
'rin are you sure you aren't beating yourself up? or is it just so normal to you that you don't notice? i don't hear your Crow. I only see what you put here. July was in a big way about the aggravation caused by the compression socks. i heard that; it sounds like frustration. and here's what else I heard in the month of July:
July 2 – “I’m lazy as hell..” ;
July 5 – can’t have mobile vet because house “is a fucking mess atm.”
July 10 – “I … am in pieces. … Body … hates me.”
July 12 – FML
July 14 – vanilla post, nothing overtly neg
July 15 – it’s my body’s fault that I look ridiculous
July 16 – vanilla X2
July 21 – I feel like a failure.
July 29 – vanilla-ish … didn’t consider treating veins because it’s cosmetic (if you actually liked the way you looked or honestly weren’t bothered by them, then i could accept that this is purely monetary; but you don’t and i don’t)
July 30 – vanilla-ish
July 31 – it was almost the only positive post you put up for the month and then you threw in a “but” … you had a great time with friends and then negated it by focusing on what you ate instead of what you did, how much you laughed, the quality time with friends.
this is what you are saying out loud, once or twice a week publicly here. I know that what I say out loud is a very censored version of what I say in my head. maybe you keep all the good stuff for yourself. or maybe you should consider taking some time to pay attention to your internal dialogue. i think you'd be surprised at what you hear. by the way, this is also something we all do, the negative self talk. everybody. Tony Robbins. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Marilyn Monroe. Audrey Hepburn. Coco Chanel. Katy Perry. Rhonda Rousey. Even Christ himself had a moment of doubt.
and i didn't post this because i want you to be less authentic here. i did it so you can hear what i hear and then you can maybe see what else there is to listen to. and to that end, i'll sending you nothing but loving kindness.
you are enough. you are worthy. you are beautifully imperfectly perfect and you are doing effing amazing.
July 2 – “I’m lazy as hell..” ;
July 5 – can’t have mobile vet because house “is a fucking mess atm.”
July 10 – “I … am in pieces. … Body … hates me.”
July 12 – FML
July 14 – vanilla post, nothing overtly neg
July 15 – it’s my body’s fault that I look ridiculous
July 16 – vanilla X2
July 21 – I feel like a failure.
July 29 – vanilla-ish … didn’t consider treating veins because it’s cosmetic (if you actually liked the way you looked or honestly weren’t bothered by them, then i could accept that this is purely monetary; but you don’t and i don’t)
July 30 – vanilla-ish
July 31 – it was almost the only positive post you put up for the month and then you threw in a “but” … you had a great time with friends and then negated it by focusing on what you ate instead of what you did, how much you laughed, the quality time with friends.
this is what you are saying out loud, once or twice a week publicly here. I know that what I say out loud is a very censored version of what I say in my head. maybe you keep all the good stuff for yourself. or maybe you should consider taking some time to pay attention to your internal dialogue. i think you'd be surprised at what you hear. by the way, this is also something we all do, the negative self talk. everybody. Tony Robbins. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Marilyn Monroe. Audrey Hepburn. Coco Chanel. Katy Perry. Rhonda Rousey. Even Christ himself had a moment of doubt.
and i didn't post this because i want you to be less authentic here. i did it so you can hear what i hear and then you can maybe see what else there is to listen to. and to that end, i'll sending you nothing but loving kindness.
you are enough. you are worthy. you are beautifully imperfectly perfect and you are doing effing amazing.
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