daejamurrachan nah, you are not out of line. I AM going through a rough patch. I think it is just an adjustment related one, though, and not a "you are doing a stupid thing" one. The short version is that I really do poorly with all change, always, and I am (and have been my entire life) a bully magnet.
Overall, I like my job. Some of my least favorite things about my previous job (the schedule was written by a computer, not a person; the commission % was a bit lower then industry standard; management was a revolving door and that often let me in a position of being unofficial manager with no extra money (in fact, less money bc you can't sell while training colleagues etc); and there was no room for me to grow) are not an issue with this new job. I need to teach the resident bullies that it is not worth fucking with me but, that process takes time to set up properly so as to not get into trouble myself in the process.
Retail in general might not be the place for me, long term, but until we are done with my husband's student loans and it would not be absurd of us to take out more loans so that I can go back to school for something useful (we both got useless liberal arts degrees). At our current rate of payment I have 2-3 years to figure out what that might be.
It's just... I am upset about my body bc I put 20-30lbs back on bc my routine changed and I did not change my diet >.> I am eating as a coping strategy in part bc I stopped drinking as a coping strategy about 2 years ago, and I forgot to come up with any new plans for dealing with things. Annndddd didn't realize I had anything to cope with until I was also coping with the fact that I regained some weight. Working in fashion does make dealing with body image issues a bit less amusing then they would be otherwise, which is less then ideal. But since throwing myself into another new situation, where I might not make as much money, would just stress me out further I think finishing to settle in where I am is probably the lesser of two evils atm.
One of the things I really wanted to get away from at the old job - constant talk about my body bc of all the weight I had lost - was apparently a check/balance that was keeping me on track. (And some ego food, let's be honest here.)
Thanks for checking in on me. I am one of those people who likes to complain while doing the work, basically. If I'm not complaining, I am probably not in the process of trying to fix things LOL.
Overall, I like my job. Some of my least favorite things about my previous job (the schedule was written by a computer, not a person; the commission % was a bit lower then industry standard; management was a revolving door and that often let me in a position of being unofficial manager with no extra money (in fact, less money bc you can't sell while training colleagues etc); and there was no room for me to grow) are not an issue with this new job. I need to teach the resident bullies that it is not worth fucking with me but, that process takes time to set up properly so as to not get into trouble myself in the process.
Retail in general might not be the place for me, long term, but until we are done with my husband's student loans and it would not be absurd of us to take out more loans so that I can go back to school for something useful (we both got useless liberal arts degrees). At our current rate of payment I have 2-3 years to figure out what that might be.
It's just... I am upset about my body bc I put 20-30lbs back on bc my routine changed and I did not change my diet >.> I am eating as a coping strategy in part bc I stopped drinking as a coping strategy about 2 years ago, and I forgot to come up with any new plans for dealing with things. Annndddd didn't realize I had anything to cope with until I was also coping with the fact that I regained some weight. Working in fashion does make dealing with body image issues a bit less amusing then they would be otherwise, which is less then ideal. But since throwing myself into another new situation, where I might not make as much money, would just stress me out further I think finishing to settle in where I am is probably the lesser of two evils atm.
One of the things I really wanted to get away from at the old job - constant talk about my body bc of all the weight I had lost - was apparently a check/balance that was keeping me on track. (And some ego food, let's be honest here.)
Thanks for checking in on me. I am one of those people who likes to complain while doing the work, basically. If I'm not complaining, I am probably not in the process of trying to fix things LOL.
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