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Trbrats training log...Ready to Get Rugged

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      That headspace thing happens with a huge breakup like youโ€™ve had. Itโ€™s like a death. So, there are waves of grief that come and go. Time will pass. It will get better. Keep walking your Stubbs. Even if that is all you do, it is benefitting you in all the ways that count. Sending hugsโ€ฆ.๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

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          That's so true DorothyMH just random waves of grief and they come out of nowhere. A song. A place. A phrase. Anything, or, even nothing can set it off

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                Thanks for the hugs

                I feel like i have become so detached from everything that I can barely function. I dont know how to get my brain to work again...the struggle is real.
                The first time being on my own and learning things at 46 is tough...old dog and all...lol I am resistant. But I know it is necessary. I am feeling like a complete idiot a lot, but, for the most part, I am able to laugh at myself and move on...lesson learned.

                Stuck with the same routine of walking and playing ball with stubbs....my arms and shoulders are becoming quite sore from the repetitiveness.

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                  laughing at yourself and moving on is a good thing!

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                    Walked Stubbs our mile loop and ball time...i get more and more soreness from the ball throwing.

                    I had planned to start the 2 min strength challenge, but messaging with my ex emotionally drained me.

                    My grandpa is in the ER...looks to be Covid/Pneumonia. He is 91, but in fairly good health so...yea...idk. My mom was allowed to stay with him. Admittedly that causes me more concern than anything, but I am glad he is not alone. I'm sure my grandma is at her wits end with worry so if you're the praying type...by all means, keep us in your prayers.

                    Started the divorce paperwork today. Everyone is happy and excited. I'm emotional and depressed. My closest peeps reminding me of things I constantly need to be reminded of. I am grateful for them, because when it comes to my ex, i am still partially blind to the obvious.

                    My anxiety is bad...its back in full force today. Chest tight af, feels like someone has a vice grip around my chest and keeps tightening it. Stomach is churning, leg is bouncing(but, I always bounce, but now its more than normal) brain fog is bad...

                    I have the most adorable video i need to try and remember to share later...

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                      Try breathing. Seriously. 4 counts on a deep inhale, then hold at the top for 7 counts, then exhale for a slow 8 counts. Do 4 rounds like that. I find that just the slow exhale is often enough to loosen that tight chest feeling. Sending more hugs. I know itโ€™s rough, but you are so much stronger than you think, right now.

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                        Hugs for you and healing vibes for grandpa.

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                          Thank you DorothyMH , i tried and it did seem to help a little...i will keep doing that off and on

                          Thank you mavie , it's much appreciated

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                            My moms update on my grandpa:

                            *Started out as bronchitis, then tested positive for Covid but did really well with it until this morning. Requested to go to hospital and he also has pneumonia. In the ER for now but he has been admitted because of his oxygen levels. Heโ€™s in good spirits. Dr says heโ€™s doing great for everything thatโ€™s going on plus his age. I will update as needed but keep him in your prayers.*

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                                for your grandfather!

                                for you. You've got this. The first steps are always the hardest.

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