How do I stop... dieting?

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    How do I stop... dieting?

    I've been into dieting and weight loss for eight years. But recently it dawned on me that this is not "normal". I mean, I don't feel like I have a normal relationship with food and eating where I can just - Eat when I'm hungry and be done with it.

    I feel like this is a "hobby" and I'm loathing it. I feel like a normal person shouldn't be thinking about food and dieting so much. I keep wanting to join some online forum to 'support my dieting or to talk to someone about dieting' ... but I want to stop dieting altogether and just eat. I'm in a healthy routine now... and on one side I just want to continue with that and stop worrying and on the othet side I feel like I would be "empty" without all this... noise.

    I'm fine with keeping exercise as a passion... because its my muse... I get all my novel ideas while exercising.

    Just, how do I become a "normal" person around food? (Note - we are both unemployed and we don't have the funds for professional help if that would be needed. I need to do this on my own)

    #2
    The best way to approach this is by finding professional medical help. Ask your doctor or any available resources for assistance. They can do so much more that we can't do.

    Good luck!

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      #3
      Originally posted by Warmaker View Post
      The best way to approach this is by finding professional medical help. Ask your doctor or any available resources for assistance. They can do so much more that we can't do.

      Good luck!
      Unfortunately, QUALITY care is not an option right now. Both me and my husband are unemployed currently and not in a location where I can see someone for free that actually knows what they're doing. We are forced to live with my grandfather in a small rural town, until we find jobs, and make some money to get back on our feet.

      There's a psychologist here I went to not long ago for a different issue, for free, she didn't really give me anything to do to fix my issues. I ended up fixing them in my own way, which isn't a bad ending, but still. I felt like all it was was a chat session every week.

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        #4
        I’ve had issues with dieting majority my life, since I went through puberty at age 11 and always didn’t like the way I looked. Of course I looked fine back then, but the obsession ruins everything.

        have you tried OA? (Overeaters anonymous). Not just for overeating, it’s for anybody with issues with food, including anorexic and buliemic. It’s not for everyone but for some people it really helps.
        they have in person meetings, phone meetings, and online meetings. I just liked making some new friends there who have similar issues

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          #5
          I really like your goal of not obsessing about diet any more. It's a tough one, though, because it's very hard to resolve to NOT think about something (like the famous pink elephant).
          I guess my suggestion would be to try to first become aware of what exactly you want to change. Thinking, yes, but there is probably other stuff in there, behaviors like obsessively reading "nutrition facts" labels, mentally adding up the calories you consumed in a day, having a black list of stuff you won't eat, weighing yourself daily... Then take your fears into account. If you've been obsessing about your diet for years, chances are it will be extremely difficult to suddenly become all carefree. You may be afraid to gain weight. So you'll need a plan that will mean you gradually change your dieting behaviours but makes you feel safe enough to be able to stick with it. Like, instead of weighing yourself every day, go to every other day, then, when it feels comfortable every week, then once a month or whatever seems reasonable to you.

          Loosening the restrictions you seem to be putting on your eating will likely result in some weight gain at first (it may not, I don't know you, but I'd think that's probable). Maybe there's an amount of gain you will accept because it is a step to a healthier relationship with food? Maybe you have strict rules that can be loosened step by step without making you feel like you're spiralling out of control?
          Maybe you have certain rigid or extreme diet-related thoughts that keep recurring. Then you can think of rational, non-obsessive "mantras" you can try to replace them with. Like (bear with me, I'm making this up, I may be so wrong) "X is terrible and I should never eat X" with "X is certainly not a health food, but eating a moderate amount now and then is not going to kill me". And then go ahead and eat a moderate amount every now and then

          Good luck and let us know how it goes!

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            #6
            Oh, man, that sounds so much like me when I was back in grad school! I REFUSE to even think about 'dieting' anymore, because I don't want to go back to that mindset ever, ever again - it was really awful for me.

            If I may advise you, Nevetharine ? You said you'd found a good routine for yourself - that's fantastic! Keep it up! Right now your brain is in the habit of thinking about food all the time (maybe because that's what it took to get to the routine that works for you?), and it takes time for old habits to fade. Now that you don't need to focus on your eating, you'll have to train your brain to think about other things-give it a new "hobby," so to speak- and at first it's a lot of hard work. Be patient with yourself, okay?

            It will take a while for all the 'noise' to fade, but you will not be empty without it, I promise. There are tons of experiences and ideas out there waiting for you, and they will give you plenty of things to ponder and dream about. If you can make it to a library, you can research something you've always wondered about, or just read for fun. If they library isn't an option, you can use the internet - just be careful to steer clear of sites about dieting for a while and stick with sites focused on the other things you love.

            I hope this helps!

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              #7
              Originally posted by AquaMarie View Post
              Oh, man, that sounds so much like me when I was back in grad school! I REFUSE to even think about 'dieting' anymore, because I don't want to go back to that mindset ever, ever again - it was really awful for me.

              If I may advise you, Nevetharine ? You said you'd found a good routine for yourself - that's fantastic! Keep it up! Right now your brain is in the habit of thinking about food all the time (maybe because that's what it took to get to the routine that works for you?), and it takes time for old habits to fade. Now that you don't need to focus on your eating, you'll have to train your brain to think about other things-give it a new "hobby," so to speak- and at first it's a lot of hard work. Be patient with yourself, okay?

              It will take a while for all the 'noise' to fade, but you will not be empty without it, I promise. There are tons of experiences and ideas out there waiting for you, and they will give you plenty of things to ponder and dream about. If you can make it to a library, you can research something you've always wondered about, or just read for fun. If they library isn't an option, you can use the internet - just be careful to steer clear of sites about dieting for a while and stick with sites focused on the other things you love.

              I hope this helps!
              Funny I kind of knew intuitively that I needed to find new hobbies. I think I need to train myself to think more about my writing...hahaha ☺ Just didn't think it would be this difficult, but I guess you can't expect 8 years of habit to disappear in a few weeks.

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                #8
                Oh, you know it. It takes a while, but once you realize you'd rather, say, plan your next cosplay than figure out exactly what you're gonna eat for supper tomorrow, it's such a good feeling. Hang in there!

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                  #9
                  Nevetharine ... everyone is always "dieting". As soon as you see "food", your body tells you if it "wants" it, or "needs" it, or is just curious. Eating or not, that is "a diet".
                  Some folk diet for medical reasons: I'm diabetic, my daughter is allergic to milk, a friend is allergic to nuts ... we are all "dieting". To stay healthy.
                  Lots of Bees diet to gain or lose weight. Or ... part of my "diet" is a half banana every other day - an Active Decision!
                  Then there's people at the bottom of the economic ladder ago must decide where to get enough food stuffs just to get through the day.

                  If you are choosing which foods to eat today or tomorrow, you aren't at the bottom.
                  But ... WHY are you "dieting"? To gain weight? To lose weight? To stay healthy?
                  Or are you often 'hungry' and feeling the urge to eat food you know you don't need?
                  Lots of Bees have that last problem. They don't realize they need to control those urges first. Perhaps by eating fewer carbs/no sugars. Perhaps by doing a minute or so of a simple exercise when you feel the urge (distracts you and gives you the strength to ignore the urge for a bit)
                  The closest I come to "obsessing" about my diet is when I check the ingredients on the packages of food I buy.

                  Best of luck.

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                    #10
                    Yeah this is .. there are many different solutions, but only you know which is the right one! Like you said your psychologist didn’t really give you anything to fix your issues and you did it yourself.. that’s how it should be! Only you can save yourself!

                    I was gonna suggest you look up “intuitive eating,” (I enjoyed watching Alice Olivia’s videos on YouTube), but intuitive eating doesn’t always work.. or at least that’s what my nutritionist said.. and she might be right because when I think of it, for a couple of years I was trying not to care about what I was eating and just “enjoy life” which maybe I was, but then I ended up eating too much of what I like..


                    but finding other hobbies is a good idea! Physical ones will help keep you trim without you having to think about it!

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