I don't know if this is a place to rant, but I have nowhere else to rant about this so if you don't want negativity today just skip this.

Yesterday a friend of my boss was visiting and talking to me. It started out innocuous where she talked about her son being too thin (BMI 19 from the measurements she gave me, which is indeed thin, but not sickly so) and smoking a lot. And then it started with her insinuating that the reason he didn't eat much was to "keep things clean, he's gay after all". I tried to tell her that that's a misconception, myth and stereoype, but I'm not sure she believed me.

Then she went on about how she's "against it all", because after all "they don't grow old happy". And then she talked about Westerwelle and some musician. (It's now occuring to me that maybe she was insinuating Westerwelle got leukemia from being gay.) I tried to tell her that very public gay celebrities tend to get dozens of death threats every single day, on top of the hundreds of regular insults and that you can find plenty of happy old gay men when you look at g-list celebrities. (I didn't have the guts to tell her that her being an ignorant bigot probably isn't making her son happy.)

There is so much bullshit inside people that I rarely hear, because they only speak it out loud when talking to or about lgbt+ or poly people. I wish there were a way to erase complete nonsense from people's brains.

Noen yeah, they do still exist, those people. Well, you did your best to shed a different light on the matter. And maybe your message does not stick, maybe a next one does. But it’s indeed hard. I do feel sorry for her son. Basically she’s telling that she’s against him and that does not sound like a healthy mother son relationship.

And welcome on this thread of course, good to see you here!

Yoooo! Hows everybody?

Pretty well. How are you Pineapple ?

I’m fine! Feeling good!

can i ask u something ??
why u are like gays and lesbo
i need an answer that's it (no offence ofc)

I'm going to take that at face value:
I can't answer it any more than I could explain why my favorite color is blue or why I like Thai food so much. Blue is the prettiest, obviously! My best friend's favorite color is orange, and that's totally reasonable even if it's wrong. I like Thai food because it's delicious and trying to break that down won't help if you personally don't like it.

I didn't even realize that I was bi: what I realized was that other people *weren't* and so I needed a label to distinguish how I saw things from how a lot of other people saw them. Just like that whole favorite color thing: it's useful to have a label for it so we don't have to go round and round about why I don't really want the orange shower curtain and do want the similar blue one. There's not a lot more reason behind it.

I’m feeling well, thanks, @Pineapple!
That is a very astute response, @Kanary

It's like asking why people want kids. It makes no rational sense for a person to want kids. And yet many people do and it's even accepted as normal in society. Some people inexpliccably draw happiness from having tiny brats in their house who eat their food, inhibit their travels to Japan and cost lots of money, only to move out one day and become no different than a good friend.

The answer to the why for sexuality, kids, identity, taste, character, etc. all lies deep within our brain, written in a language we are decades if not centuries away from being able to read. As of now there is no explanation, it's only fact.

deglaFRVR As Kanary andNoen point out: there's no reason, it just is. And it might change over a lifetime. It's not a matter of choice.

However, although one might recognise their own sexual preference / gender identity / queerness and feel at ease with it, others sometimes have a whole different agenda. It can be very hard to have a meaningful conversation when A experiences that there's no choice and B thinks there is room for A to choose differently and condemns A for a poorly made choice. Especially when B presents the reason for condemning A as fact.

Like when that British teacher hated on parents for having kids and insulted them for having chosen so selfishly. Maybe she can be happy without children, but I can't.

I mention this because sadly many of the people insulted and outraged by her comments never realised they were doing the same thing to lgbt+ people.

I couldn't explain it any better, thanks Kanary

and enjoy the HIVE deglaFRVR

I am sorry but I do not get the question. What are you asking? I am not trying to be rude I just genuinely dont understand what you are asking.

Pineapple - Don't feed the trolls! Run!

Lol but what does it mean? Im dumb